Hey, PLEASE HELP ME. I don't know if what I've written is relevant to the prompt. I also need to cut down on words. It was way longer than this before, and because of my efforts to cut down it seems abrupt in many places. Can anyone please help me improve this/tell me if it's irrelevant so I can rewrite it? PLEASE help!
"We know that diversity makes us a better university - better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research." (U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)
Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.
When I became a member of the Jazz Club in school, I only intended to learn how to play it. Handing over my position as vice-chairperson at the end of my term, I realized that playing Jazz was something I could never fully learn. Instead, I learnt a new way of life, and that became one of the most meaningful things I had ever learnt in my 12 years of schooling.
In no way did I have any personal experience or encounter with the people who would teach me what I was to learn - they lived in the 19th century. The Africans that were brought to America as slaves did not ask to be humiliated, collared, whipped and killed - for errs as trivial as working too slowly, yet, despite their beaten bodies, their hearts were so full of strength, life and song, and their work songs and field hollers paved the way for a Music such as Jazz, a Music so dear to America.
I admit, I was one of those who thought that Jazz was for playing in fancy restaurants with crystal chandeliers and spiral staircases. Learning this bit of history was a shock to me, but it helped me see the strength of the human spirit. Not only did these African slaves revolutionize the music of that era, they have also swum boldly against the current that was so eager to push them downstream.
In the world that I live and have lived in, sufferings as that of the slaves are unbeknownst to us, yet we moan endlessly about nothing more than a broken fingernail. Jazz has sparked a passion for music and taught me to improvise. The song of the slaves has taught me to find joy in what I have, and to stretch beyond what I can reach, and all this I will bring to the University of Michigan.
It's currently 313 words long when it's supposed to be approx 250 words long.
Any help will be VERY MUCH APPRECIATED. Thanks!
"We know that diversity makes us a better university - better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research." (U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)
Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.
When I became a member of the Jazz Club in school, I only intended to learn how to play it. Handing over my position as vice-chairperson at the end of my term, I realized that playing Jazz was something I could never fully learn. Instead, I learnt a new way of life, and that became one of the most meaningful things I had ever learnt in my 12 years of schooling.
In no way did I have any personal experience or encounter with the people who would teach me what I was to learn - they lived in the 19th century. The Africans that were brought to America as slaves did not ask to be humiliated, collared, whipped and killed - for errs as trivial as working too slowly, yet, despite their beaten bodies, their hearts were so full of strength, life and song, and their work songs and field hollers paved the way for a Music such as Jazz, a Music so dear to America.
I admit, I was one of those who thought that Jazz was for playing in fancy restaurants with crystal chandeliers and spiral staircases. Learning this bit of history was a shock to me, but it helped me see the strength of the human spirit. Not only did these African slaves revolutionize the music of that era, they have also swum boldly against the current that was so eager to push them downstream.
In the world that I live and have lived in, sufferings as that of the slaves are unbeknownst to us, yet we moan endlessly about nothing more than a broken fingernail. Jazz has sparked a passion for music and taught me to improvise. The song of the slaves has taught me to find joy in what I have, and to stretch beyond what I can reach, and all this I will bring to the University of Michigan.
It's currently 313 words long when it's supposed to be approx 250 words long.
Any help will be VERY MUCH APPRECIATED. Thanks!
