Hello i'm applying for a nomination from my state senator to the Naval Academy and I would just like some feedback and/or grammar help please! The essay is supposed to include 1) Why you want to attend the academy 2) What makes you uniquely qualified to attend an academy 3) What do you want to do as a career after the academy.
Thank you so much!
I have always perceived the Naval Academy to be the narrow gate of military service, and only the finest members of society can enter through that narrow passage. I believe that my contagious fervor for helping others, accompanied by my pursuit of honor, duty, and loyalty will show my potential to become one of those exclusive members of our nation's military leaders. Acceptance into the Naval Academy would not only allow me to grow as a servant of men, but also guide me forward in my unselfish service and devotion to the welfare of others. The moral, mental, and physical strain put upon me by the academy would develop me into someone larger than myself. In addition, it opens opportunities for me that no other institution would because of its excellence in higher education and the pursuit of military perfection.
Taking on rigorous high school A.P classes is very challenging for me and most other candidates. However, I believe that it's unique that I can take on these classes and still be a leader of team sports and additionally be a leader of many school clubs. I aspire to assume a much higher responsibility than other candidates and perform at a very high level of expectation.
A career as a pilot in the Navy has been a lifelong goal of mine. Nonetheless, I am dedicated to a career in naval service and will proudly accept any opportunity the Navy would graciously offer me while holding service above self.
Thank you so much!
I have always perceived the Naval Academy to be the narrow gate of military service, and only the finest members of society can enter through that narrow passage. I believe that my contagious fervor for helping others, accompanied by my pursuit of honor, duty, and loyalty will show my potential to become one of those exclusive members of our nation's military leaders. Acceptance into the Naval Academy would not only allow me to grow as a servant of men, but also guide me forward in my unselfish service and devotion to the welfare of others. The moral, mental, and physical strain put upon me by the academy would develop me into someone larger than myself. In addition, it opens opportunities for me that no other institution would because of its excellence in higher education and the pursuit of military perfection.
Taking on rigorous high school A.P classes is very challenging for me and most other candidates. However, I believe that it's unique that I can take on these classes and still be a leader of team sports and additionally be a leader of many school clubs. I aspire to assume a much higher responsibility than other candidates and perform at a very high level of expectation.
A career as a pilot in the Navy has been a lifelong goal of mine. Nonetheless, I am dedicated to a career in naval service and will proudly accept any opportunity the Navy would graciously offer me while holding service above self.
