New York City - Why Columbia (insert school name here)?

While I am almost positively sure that the 'Why (insert school name here)" mini-essays are a little bit redundant ("Because you're my backup! Wait, no... >_>") and maddening, I'm giving it my best shot. I'm wondering if I could get help for my WHY COLUMBIA essay?

Here goes it...

WHY COLUMBIA?

New York winters are cold. Or so I hear, at the very least. Cold, and blustery, and brilliantly snowy. I like the snow.

New York City is a geographical sardine can. So many people, so little space. It's barely plausible. I like the irony.

New York is a fashion, cultural, art and underground transportation hotspot of the world. It's a crossroads. I appreciate the diversity.

And, of course, Columbia College is located in the heart of New York City. Disregard the fact that I'm incredibly enamored with the film studies program, or that this is one of the only schools that I'm interested in with an actual archaeology major, or that I'm in love with the centered, closed-off-from-city-madness grounds. Ignore the notion that I'd wanted to study journalism at Columbia since I was eleven, after realizing that yes, there was a way to write and make money at the same time. Forget how convinced I am that it would, in fact, be my first choice and how it'd be a perfect fit, with the humanities concentration and multidisciplinary outlook. Ignoring all that... It's in the middle of New York. And I don't think it could get much better.

__________

I wanted to make it a little bit... not flippant, but more casual. Any suggestions?
Thanks for reading.

Yes, it is very casual. But I thought that the only reason why you want Columbia is because it is located in NY. but maybe not the only, but the biggest yeah?

Also, your major is journalism or archeology? I was just confused with it.

However, I like your inspiration to make it more casual and simple result of your thought. And Good luck :)

WOW i never thought of making a why college essay like that. I got differed from my dream school Duke but i think they would have liked something new to look at like you just did. Great job!!

I think there are a couple of things in the first couple of sentences. At first i thought you were trying to make a poem but then all the sentences are choppy. It was hard to understand and read those first couple of line. I think thats the only thing that you need to change but the back half seems good.

Thanks for the input. ^^ editing now.

Hello, again. Complete 'Columbia' rewrite

So, I tried to do something different for my Columbia essay, then looked at it again, and realized it was rather crap. Here's my take two. Advice? Input? Criticism much appreciated!

I don't know where I'm going yet. I know bits and pieces, sure; I've known that I wanted to go to school on the east coast since I was little, because of the culture and diversity. The idea of New York as a crossroads of all cultures had me completely enamored, and it's somewhere I'd want to end up, no matter what. And Columbia's right in the middle of that. I don't know where I'm going yet, but I know that, no matter what I decide to study, I want to write. Columbia has one of the strongest writing programs in the U.S., creative as well as journalistic, and that's an area I want to go into, and one that I definitely want to see grow. I don't know where I'm going yet, but I know that this is one of the only schools that I'm interested in with an actual archaeology major, and that I'm in love with the centered, closed-off-from-city-madness grounds. I don't know exactly where I'm going yet, no. But I know that what I like best about Columbia is its options; I know that, wherever I decide to go, it's the best place to start. I like it for its springboard, and I like it for all the possibilities it offers.

Rouge, this essay definitely stands out because there is little variety in syntax. Your sentences are all simple sentences like you intended, but I'm not sure that will have the best effect unless you have an outstanding reason for writing that way. I would change up your sentence varieties.

Great job though! Good luck with applications