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NYU Common app supplements-- 2050 movie, famous NYorker, poem on me, why NYU?



Eight 3 / 5  
Dec 31, 2009   #1
Please help me! Thanks in advance

If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do? (Your New Yorker can be anyone -past or present, fictional or nonfictional - who is commonly associated with New York City; they do not necessarily have to have been born and raised in New York.)

As one who has hardly set foot into New York City, I miss much of the rich culture flowing underneath the business centers that I have visited with my father. Of all the spectacles in NYC, the one I am most interested in seeing is the unique amalgamation of foreign races and cultures. Jerry Seinfeld, for one, is sure to hit every aspect of foreign culture in NYC right on its head. We would tour the hot dog stands, ride the taxis, and explore the deep culture of NYC, laughing all the way.

Write a haiku, limerick, or short (eight lines or less) poem that best represents you.

My horrible and generic "poem":

Stuck in the suburbs,
Yearning for grand adventure.
College life awaits.

In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line.

In Vicarious, you witness the rise of a glorious new technology that is interwoven with both computer science and imagination: virtual reality. Watch,as a team of programmers overcome their differences to change the world. Military casualties are next to zero,as robotic avatars take their places on the battlefield. Handicapped individuals live full lives due to advanced prosthetic interfaces. Life has been changed. But can this be used for good, and good only?

Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

What drew me to NYU was it's unique mesh of liberal arts specialization and engineering capability. The profession I want to enter is the creation of computer games, or something comparable. The integration of creativity and art design is essential in such a field, and I feel that NYU's academic stresses in both liberal arts and engineering will be instrumental in my education.

autogunny 3 / 69  
Jan 1, 2010   #2
Your new york essay is solid.

Your movie seems to seep into the story line of Avatar. I would tone down the virtual reality stuff or change it. If I think its like Avatar, the adcoms certainly will. I know you have a passion for computer games but you can DO ANYTHING WITH THAT. I would scrap this movie and go for a game style movie. For example, one day you are born as a character in a popular game. Maybe you are born as Mario and you have to play through or something like that.

Your "Why NYU" thing is kinda generic. Find out exactly why computer games can work at NYU. Maybe you like a certain class or a certain professor?

Can you critique my common app.
twizzlestraw 12 / 81  
Jan 1, 2010   #3
As one who has hardly set foot into New York City, I miss much of the rich culture flowing underneath the business centers that I have visited with my father. Of all the spectacles in NYC, the one I am most interested in seeing is the unique amalgamation of foreign races and cultures. Jerry Seinfeld, for one, is sure to hit every aspect of foreign culture in NYC right on its head. We would tour the hot dog stands, ride the taxis, and explore the deep culture of NYC, laughing all the way.

This response is a bit off for a number of reasons. First of all the part of your first sentence does not do a good job in relating to/exemplifing the second half of the sentence - I would just scrap it. Then in your sentence about JS you really dont need "for one" - It would also be nice if you explain why you think that and elaborate on what you mean by "is sure to hit every aspect of foreign culture in NYC right on its head"

Other than that I like your response, with the exception of the poem, unfortunately I am not the one to ask for help with such things... Sorry!

Would you mind looking over my amherst supplement?
THANKS!
vpn - / 5  
Jan 1, 2010   #4
your poem's rather...shallow. sorry - it was my impression, and i want to be honest. unless you are transcendently eloquent, i would opt for a freeform poem or a limerick - you have a lot more words to work with that way.

I feel that NYU's academic stresses in both liberal arts and engineering will be instrumental in my education.

is a repeat of

What drew me to NYU was it's unique mesh of liberal arts specialization and engineering capability.

i also agree with gunny about this prompt.

read mine?? :3


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