I don't evaluate accomplishments of humongous wealth or a sound health as milestones of a successful life. For me a successful person is a genius in his/her forte.
A daredevil who steps out of the comfort zone to commit with utmost passion for the triumph.
During the aftermath of Mega-Earthquake of April 25, 2015, I endeavored to provide the slightest possible assistance to the quake-casualties while I could hide somewhere safe with my family.
An all-rounder who excels in every accessible platform.
Someone who is not afraid to get his/her hands dirty by surpassing the expectations of the society. All these years, I've pushed myself over the limits and performed devotedly on both of my scholarly and auxiliary assignments.
An altruistic cosmopolite concerned about every individual's welfare.
From community service to awareness campaigns, I'm responsible for the prosperous living of numerous Nepalese men and women.
An insatiably hungry spirit.
The curiosity towards enlightening oneself with the limitless worldly information never extinguish within me as I always think outside the box and approach every issue with farsightedness.
The buoyancy to rehabilitate the momentum of life and persist in pursuing one's ambition.
When the political turmoil knocked the socks off the educational institutions, I collaborated with some of my enthusiastic colleagues for securing peaceful continuity of schools.
I do not claim myself a successful individual by describing the interrelationship with the topic, but I do believe that with the platform Lehigh promises to offer, I'll surely leave behind an epic legacy.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15388 Sushant, let's try to not wax poetic in your response. It should still be in essay form and must be more informative than just telling the reviewer about the characteristics of a successful person that you feel you embody. Your presentation should follow a narrative style that allows the reviewer to follow the development of these successful person traits within you . That way you not only tell the reviewer about the character traits, but you also justify your choices based upon your successful embodiment of the traits.
You can actually present a 5-6 paragraph essay for this response. Each trait deserves to have a stand alone paragraph that discusses the trait then provides a concrete example of how you embody it. Develop your explanation beyond the current overview that you present in this poetry style presentation that you currently have. This does not really present the character trait and justification in a strong and believable manner for the reviewer to consider.
So develop the response in an essay style, use one paragraph per trait, add an explanation of why you believe that it is important for a successful person to have that trait based upon your expanded personal example. Using those steps, you should be able to create a strong foundation and consideration for your overall response.
@Holt
There is 250 words limit, so I thought instead of using famous quotes, interrelating myself with the characteristics would be better ? What do you recommend, sir ?
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15388 I suggest that you analyze yourself for the 5 successful character traits that the essay is requiring you to present as a response. Look back on your own leadership skills, successes in life, and other aspects of your person that have helped you earn the admiration of others. Which of you 5 character traits would you classify as helping you become "successful" to a certain extent in your life?
You have a pretty solid opening sentence in this version of your essay so I suggest that you keep that part. As for the rest, you have a redundancy of traits when it comes to the daredevil and and all rounder character who excels in every platform. That is a similar description for almost the same character so you will have to change one of the two.
Try to just revise the content that you have now by making them essay format instead of poetic lines in presentation. I already made my suggestions as to how you can revise your current work in order to create the essay format in my previous response. All you have to do is try to follow the instructions to create a 250 word essay for yourself.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15388 Hi Sushant, I just wanted to let you know that I saw your message in the other thread about reviewing this essay for you. I did not realize that I had already presented a number of suggestions for you to apply in your revised essay. So I guess all that is left for me to do at this point is wait for your to revise the essay using my comments. I can review the new version as soon as you have posted it in this thread. I am actually looking forward to what you can come up with based upon my suggestions. Don't worry, I'll be here to assist you until we are sure that the essay is ready for submission. Remember, do not use the quotes, look to yourself for the inspiration regarding the characteristics of a successful person, and make sure that you create a personal connection within the essay discussion in order to make the revision work for your benefit.
@Holt
Hi Mary. As I was working on another essay "What is your deam?", it came to my mind that how appropriate and logical would it sound if I included the above mentioned traits as my dreams to achieve rather than a real life profession- A doctor, An engineer.
What do you think about my idea ? Any further suggestions are welcomed .
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15388 You could do that Sushant. However, if you are submitting the essay to the same university, you cannot use the same traits for the successful person essay. There is this unspoken rule that you should not duplicate the content in different prompts because it shows a lack of analysis and a less than serious point of view coming from you regarding your application. So think about using the characteristics in a different prompt seriously.
If you use the traits in a "dream" essay, do you have enough other traits to use for the characteristics essay? If you will be submitting the essays to different schools then the duplication of content will not matter. However, if you are submitting to the same school, you might have a problem developing a new essay for the characteristics side. That is, unless you do not plan to respond to that prompt anymore? In which case, go ahead and use the traits in the dream essay because you won't be using it for the successful essay anymore.
I am sorry. Did I confuse you? Do you understand what I am trying to explain to you?
@Holt
Don't worry, Mary. They are different schools. I just wanted to have your opinion on this. Thanks, anyways. I'll post that dream essay soon.