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Overcoming personal difficulties; event that transformed me to adulthood



ferdquayson 1 / 2  
Dec 7, 2015   #1
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family. (250-650 words)

The defining moment of my transition from childhood to adulthood really came at an early stage of my life. After losing both my parent at a tender age of nine, and especially coming from an impoverished background, I had to quickly reevaluate my thought and actions in order to survive. However, it was my experience on the street of Accra that changed me and ultimately made me more mature in my own eyes.

On the street, I lived a semi-nomadic life, constantly haunted by thugs, watchmen and even the police; my entire existence consisted of surviving through the starkest of poverty, relentlessly forced to move from one place to the next, seeking shelter in abandoned buildings or empty half-roof shops in the market place during the cold Accra nights. The nights were often penetratingly cold and without blanket, the cold rain and damp grounds can make a night seem excruciatingly long. I huddle up on pieces of cardboard and cover myself with sacks and plastics on top of my frail thin body. Any unfamiliar noise awakens me; the constant fear of attack, robbery or what might be worse: a threat of sodomy alarmingly lurks at every night fall.

I lived each day trying to survive. My already traumatic experience of losing my parents was worsened by the reality of having to fend for myself on the street, to have to survive day-to-day struggles which many children my age couldn't imagine. But through my hardship, I realized something: that unlike most of my colleagues, I still had dreams of a good life, of going back to school, getting a job and a home- and in my heart, the silent untold dream of being loved. Because of this realization, I felt that I needed to grow accustomed to life as an independent person: an adult. I needed to live life not only to survive but to take necessary steps and make plans to get me out of the street.

I started to develop a sense of responsibility, of how to manage my time, build relationships, develop effective work ethics and to look presentable. I worked strenuously during the day and studied in front of closed shops at night amidst the mosquito bites and the cold. I grew very determined of making something out of my life. I became more open minded, purposeful, self - confident, receptive to change, matured and solid in my decision making. Before long, I managed to save enough and with the help of others enrolled myself in Junior High School and graduated with straight A's. I later gained full scholarship to complete Senior High School and graduated as the overall best student with one of the best grades in my school's history.

For me, being an adult is having the ability to overcome your difficulties,to be persistent and diligent, and able to make plans for your life. My experience on the street has made me more focused, experienced, multi-tasking and practical in my approach to life. Being thrown into a completely new circumstance and environment on my own has given me the opportunity to learn and develop into a mature person by exercising total independence and taking up responsibilities. I now look forward to life as a strong, able and mature person in every aspect, not giving in to fear or apprehension and making the best out of every circumstance or condition I find myself.

Jonyface 3 / 4  
Dec 7, 2015   #2
- After losing both my parents at a tender age of nine
- and without a blanket, the cold rain and damp grounds can make a night seem excruciatingly long
- My experience on the street has made me more focused, experienced, multi-tasking and practical in my approach to life. Multitasking isn't an adjective, maybe chose another word.

Your story was very touching, good luck.
justivy03 - / 2265  
Dec 7, 2015   #3
Ferdi, I'd like to help on the first three paragraphs of your essay.
When I'm done, I hope you see the difference it makes to your essay.

1st paragraph
- adulthood really came at an early stage of my life.
- After losing both of my parents at a tender age of nine,
- and especially coming from an impoverished background,
- I had to quickly reevaluate my thoughts and actions in order to survive.
- However, it was my experience on the streets of Accra that changed
- me and ultimately made me ssss( be careful of typo errors ) more mature in my own eyes .

2nd paragraph
- a threat of sodomy that alarmingly
- lurks at every night fall.

3rd paragraph
- But ( I suggest that you refrain from starting your essay with the word "bur" )
- T hrough my hardship,
- Because ofArmed with this realization,

There you have it Ferdi, I hope my remarks help enhance your essay.
OP ferdquayson 1 / 2  
Dec 8, 2015   #4
Thank so much for the correction. I will be glad if you can tell me whether my entire essay is on point.


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