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"My own musical talent, band is.." - CommonApp Short Answer



eolfinreed 1 / -  
Nov 25, 2010   #1
Well, this is the CommonApp short answer over an extracurricular activity in 150 words. I've started, but I'm not quite sure how to end it or if it's even in the right direction. Any advice?

My thoughts:
It's much too early in the morning to be awake - and much less at school. Many students aren't even awake at six-thirty, even on weekdays. And yet here I was, sitting on the floor in the band hall, pulling out a roll sheet and putting together my clarinet. I had two hours of practice before me, school, and then twelve hours of travelling and performing with the band. It was bound to be a long, exhausting, and stressful day - and I would love every minute of it. Of course, the hours spent out on the field would be over in a few months, but then a new kind of band would start. Instead of working with my fellow section leaders to improve the band as a whole, I would be practicing to improve my own musical talent.

fznfire 1 / 28  
Nov 25, 2010   #2
This essay should be a compact essay- that is always a thing to be kept in mind.
It's too much early in the morning to be awake - and much less at school . Many students aren't even awake six-thirty, even on weekdays [Unnecessary detail ]. And yet here I was, sitting on the floor in the band hall, pulling out a roll sheet and putting together my clarinet. I had two hours of practice and twelve hours of traveling before me, school, and then twelve hours of travelling and performing with the band leaving for a performance with the band . It was bound to be a long, exhausting, and stressful day - and I [would love]/[loved]?? every minute of it. Of course, the hours spent out on the field [would be]?? over in a few months, but then a new kind of band [would]?? start. Instead of working with my fellow section leaders to improve the band as a whole, I [would]?? be practicing to improve my own musical talent.

You are talking of this like a future possibility in the later part of the paragraph while relating the story in the future. So you should perhaps rewrite it.


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