To be a part of the introduction of sustainable and affordable biotechnology, the International Plan

Hi! I am currently applying to Georgia Tech and I am worried that my response to the prompts is wrong. Please help me review it. Thanks!

Why do you want to study your chosen major at Georgia Tech?

An internship at NIIT, a computer training institute introduced me to the art of programming and I immediately fell in love with it. I took up coding as a hobby and currently, I am almost fluent in Python as well as JAVA.I began to look for a course that could offer an intersection between computer hardware and my newfound interest in coding and programming and I discovered computer engineering.

When my sister sister first introduced Georgia Tech to me, I was particularly interested in its flexible academic program. This is because I have developed a love of biology and the workings of the human body and I believe Georgia Tech would provide the opportunity for me to integrate all my interests as a means of tailoring my major. I am also intrigued by the bio-engineering research program and bio-robotics and I would like to one day be part of the introduction of sustainable and affordable biotechnology in African countries.

I would also like to be a part of the International Plan. With a program like this, I will not only be well experienced with different cultures, I will be able to solve problems from a global perspective and this will greatly aid me on my career path long after graduation.

Ibukun, what is the maximum word count for this essay? The reason I ask is because you need to balance the discussion to represent both your interest in coding and biology. Each should cover one paragraph and then, by the third paragraph, you should be explaining what your tailored major could be called and how you hope to complete it at Georgia Tech. Right now, there is a gap in your explanation so the sudden entrance of biology as part of your tailored course came as a surprise and did not really blend well with the overall presentation. Then, expand your interest in the International Plan. What can you contribute to the program? Offer that information to support the idea that you hope to learn something from your participation in that learning exercise. Building on these aspects of the essay should help strengthen your presentation and add to the clarity of your purpose for choosing the university. I think that it is pretty obvious that you will need to revise the total presentation, with the maximum word count firmly planted in your mind as the maximum presentation requirement of your essay.