my main questions are does the essay answer the question? & is it cohesive and focused?
if you'd like me to edit yours - feel free to comment :)
PROMPT: Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest. 500 word max - it's ten words over, but that's easily fixable.
My passion for learning and science began at an early age primarily due to my hero, my grandfather. He encouraged me to embark upon curious adventures of the natural environment and to expand my imagination. With his support, I trekked upon a journey to a parallel universe where the magic of science and logic reign supreme. When I was 8 he bought me a journal for my birthday. Since then I've always loved keeping that bit of natural magic to myself in the form of a journal. Beyond observation, I loved to draw and record my findings so they may forever dwell within my grasp. Unfortunately, due to pancreatic cancer, he has passed on. But his appreciation and encouragement for my knowledge exploration still lingers.
My fascination with science has never left me. Just this past, summer I was involved in a pharmacokinetic research project with my mentor Dr. Andurkar. Upon our quest to patent yet another anticonvulsant drug for epileptic patients, the same sensation of childhood enchantment again resurfaced. I have ventured far beyond my elementary school comprehension. Instead of watching the television, now I'm actually employing the concepts of gravity and body systems in calculations and studies alongside graduate students to find out truly which drug delivery mechanism to employ for the developmental amino anticonvulsant.
To develop a drug, one must first study the body. Needless to say after hours of peering through microscope lenses, I am simply amazed by the majesty and phenomena of what is mother nature. The perfect and specialized functions of cells, and the natural defense mechanisms of the body is simply staggering to observe. To know that I am a part of a lab team actively working with her to develop a therapeutic instrument, just makes me experience the frequent capricious thrill. The prowess of mother nature's functionality came to life: beyond my pages of recorded statistics, and beyond the pages of my observational journals.
The next step in my education is to explore colleges that can provide me with the greatest potential to continue my passions - Cornell is that institution. I have hopeful dreams to continue dabbling in the field of drug and delivery systems. Particularly I'd like to stray from epileptic studies to the field of oncology in honor of my grandfather. I imagine myself taking a class under Professor Claudia Fischbach-Teschl, utilizing her expertise in tissue-engineered model systems and cancer metastasis patterns perhaps in the future I may be a part of the revolutionary progression to find the cure for cancer.
Through my experience with Mr. Andurkar and his lab team I've learned that I relish the team atmosphere of developmental science. Moreover, as an art aficionado and a science enthusiast, I loved being able to marry my logical intuition and the artistic majesty of mother nature. I only hope to continue my scientific enchantment with the inspiration of my grandfather to bring life beyond the pages of my journal. Perhaps one day my passions will come to fruition to develop solutions that have the capacity to change peoples' lives.
if you'd like me to edit yours - feel free to comment :)
PROMPT: Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest. 500 word max - it's ten words over, but that's easily fixable.
My passion for learning and science began at an early age primarily due to my hero, my grandfather. He encouraged me to embark upon curious adventures of the natural environment and to expand my imagination. With his support, I trekked upon a journey to a parallel universe where the magic of science and logic reign supreme. When I was 8 he bought me a journal for my birthday. Since then I've always loved keeping that bit of natural magic to myself in the form of a journal. Beyond observation, I loved to draw and record my findings so they may forever dwell within my grasp. Unfortunately, due to pancreatic cancer, he has passed on. But his appreciation and encouragement for my knowledge exploration still lingers.
My fascination with science has never left me. Just this past, summer I was involved in a pharmacokinetic research project with my mentor Dr. Andurkar. Upon our quest to patent yet another anticonvulsant drug for epileptic patients, the same sensation of childhood enchantment again resurfaced. I have ventured far beyond my elementary school comprehension. Instead of watching the television, now I'm actually employing the concepts of gravity and body systems in calculations and studies alongside graduate students to find out truly which drug delivery mechanism to employ for the developmental amino anticonvulsant.
To develop a drug, one must first study the body. Needless to say after hours of peering through microscope lenses, I am simply amazed by the majesty and phenomena of what is mother nature. The perfect and specialized functions of cells, and the natural defense mechanisms of the body is simply staggering to observe. To know that I am a part of a lab team actively working with her to develop a therapeutic instrument, just makes me experience the frequent capricious thrill. The prowess of mother nature's functionality came to life: beyond my pages of recorded statistics, and beyond the pages of my observational journals.
The next step in my education is to explore colleges that can provide me with the greatest potential to continue my passions - Cornell is that institution. I have hopeful dreams to continue dabbling in the field of drug and delivery systems. Particularly I'd like to stray from epileptic studies to the field of oncology in honor of my grandfather. I imagine myself taking a class under Professor Claudia Fischbach-Teschl, utilizing her expertise in tissue-engineered model systems and cancer metastasis patterns perhaps in the future I may be a part of the revolutionary progression to find the cure for cancer.
Through my experience with Mr. Andurkar and his lab team I've learned that I relish the team atmosphere of developmental science. Moreover, as an art aficionado and a science enthusiast, I loved being able to marry my logical intuition and the artistic majesty of mother nature. I only hope to continue my scientific enchantment with the inspiration of my grandfather to bring life beyond the pages of my journal. Perhaps one day my passions will come to fruition to develop solutions that have the capacity to change peoples' lives.