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"passionate abut studying" - University of Rochester Supplement (common app)



Jd87rh 11 / 49  
Nov 14, 2009   #1
Here are my responses to the three questions on the UR supplement on the common app.
What do you guys think?

1)What makes the University of Rochester a good fit for you? In answering, identify your sources of information, including any conversations you've had with Rochester faculty, staff, students, or alumni.

All the information I've received, from my guidance counselor and from Regional Director Joe Latimer, has helped me in choosing University of Rochester as a good fit for me. I feel that the Hajim School of Engineering and Applied Science will help me in pursuing my interest in math and science. I intend to major in biomedical engineering, and UR's strong research centered curriculum would greatly benefit me. UR will allow me to focus on my goals but also allows me to explore other subjects and interest. UR has a very diverse student body, and the school's many societies and clubs will enable me to meet and work with all these students and teachers. Rochester's hold many of values I look for in a school and I hope that I can be a part of it's diverse student body.

2)Rochester students represent many different points of view. Each student constructs an independent study and research plan. Describe what you will contribute to Rochester's diversity of ideas, experiences, and identities. If you can, incorporate a positive past experience where you chose your own learning path, or a negative experience where you wanted to exercise more independence.

I haven't written an answer yet because i don't know how to word it. But here's what i want to say.. i just don't know the best way to say it.

I'm very passionate about studying, and I'm sure to bring that to University of Rochester. I love to learn new things, and also to teach others things they may not know. I was born in the Dominican Republic (DR), and have spent a lot of my life going back and forth between New York and DR. I can truthfully say I see things differently because of this. I've experienced what life in like here in America as well as over there. Many families suffer great poverty there and for many of them their only chance for better future is their children. My family has always placed a great importance on education, on better oneself and helping others. Things are easier here in America and many of us don't see this and take it for granted. Whenever I go to DR, I remember how fortunate I am and try to help my community. The local schools often holds parties to raise money for those kids that can't afford to buy their school supplies. My family and me always take part in organizing it when possible. I take everything I have learned with gratification and I hope to bring these values to Rochester and it's community, but also to learn new values that I can incorporate into my life.

How would you guys write the second part?
I know some of you will say the way I wrote it is good enough.
But I don't feel it is.

Please and thank you!

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Nov 15, 2009   #2
This should start out in a more interesting way, and you can fix it just by tweaking the first sentence a little;
With the information I received from my guidance counselor and from Regional Director Joe Latimer, I realize the University of Rochester is a perfect fit for me.

I'm very passionate about studying, and I'm sure to bring that to UR. I love to learn new things, and also to teach others things they might not know.

I was born in the D ominican R epublic (DR), and spent a lot of my life going back and forth between New York and DR.

Because of this, I can truthfully say i see things differently because of this.

I've experienced what life is like here in America as well as over there.

Many families suffer great poverty there and for many of them, their only chance for a better future is their children.
My family has always placed a great importance on education, on bettering oneself and to helping others.
OP Jd87rh 11 / 49  
Nov 15, 2009   #3
Did I answer the question well?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 16, 2009   #4
Yes, you did answer it well! I suggest giving a little detail about the poverty you suffered -- perhaps an example of a situation you faced; it only has to require one sentence.

Then, add one sentence about how this adversity will enable you to contribute to the school Again, a detail is important: mention your interest in getting involved with a student organization dedicated to alleviating poverty in various places (look on the school's website to find the name of one such organization)
OP Jd87rh 11 / 49  
Nov 17, 2009   #5
I don't want to say just one organization, because rochester has many i am interested in. But i added an example, it's not very detailed because i have a word limit.

but
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 19, 2009   #6
(start with a sentence that SHOWS that you are passionate about studying). Then continue... and I'm sure to bring that passion for academics to the University of Rochester.

What would be a good sentence that tells the reader something about how you study that shows you to be very motivated about it. A sentence about a strict routine you follow, maybe?
OP Jd87rh 11 / 49  
Nov 20, 2009   #7
ummm, I don't know.

What kind of routine, how i study?
For example, d i start by saying that "I make index cards for everything i learn and got over multiple times a week"

(thats not real) but is that what you mean?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 23, 2009   #8
(thats not real)

You're funny. Well, it should be real I figured out that making the index cards is the important part. I can throw them away after making them, because interacting with the material caused me to learn it.

Yes, that is what I meant. It is a good challenge. In writing, the saying is, "Show, don't tell." Showing is what enchants the reader's mind.
OP Jd87rh 11 / 49  
Nov 23, 2009   #9
Okay Dokes. I'll try that

P.S. thanks (for the saying i was funny part).. oh (and for the help)

P.P.S. I'll revise, find a study habit I actually partake in. and see if I can think up a nice way of showing it, not just saying it.


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