"I play Classical music on the piano" - MIT - What do you do for the pleasure of it?

Hi everybody.

I was wondering if somebody could read through my MIT short answer for the prompt:

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it.

I have written two versions but have gotten feedback that they were both way too fluffy and general. Could anybody help me out?

I know there is no formula, no equation that constitutes what harmonies can penetrate the human mind and evoke pure emotion. But when I play Classical music on the piano, I love to hear the individual notes that Beethoven, Mozart, and Vivaldi have blended into perfect recipes. For me, their melodies are pathways of elusion from the worries of the moment. As I ride their crescendos and diminuendos of raw sentiment, I lose myself into a melodic bliss and realize that I would find it difficult to exist without the pleasure of playing piano and listening to music.

AND

After a hard day at school, there is nothing I like better than to come home and sit on the piano bench. For me, playing piano provides a meaningful escape from the world and brings about relaxation. I can remember pulling out Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and Mozart's Requiem in times of stress, and letting the worries pour out of my mind. Whether it is the soothing sounds of the piano keys or the emotion within Classical music that attracts me to playing the instrument, it is something that I love to do.

Thanks so much.

If you pick an overused topic like piano, you really need to attack it in an original way. That being said, aside from a few bouts of fluffy language, the two essays you are very uninteresting to read. Perhaps you should something more engaging, like writing an essay on you playing one song and fill it with a lot of vivid images. Hell, write a piano essay from the perspective of your fingertips! Do anything to make it original.

Playing the piano is quite a common practice and therefore I believe it would be very difficult to make a short essay about it compelling.

On the other hand is there nothing else you do for pleasure?

The characteristic tones of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and Mozart's Requiem allow the worries to seep from my mind. After a hard day at school there is nothing more tranquil than sitting on my piano bench...

Otherwise just try to have an interesting beginning and end and try to think of other things you do for pleasure be it swim, play golf, read a book. Anything.

Though I do think with some editing that you can make your piano tales more interesting. Good luck

I think the 2nd one is alright. But try rearranging some of the sentences. It's a 100 word short answer. There's nothing much you can do with that is there? The best you could do is make sure you include the information you feel that MIT should know. Trying to include too many small details would mean you'd end up not being able to convey the important details. MIT is trying to get to know you better. So putting up something that you think would impress them is useless. They might not even tally with the other parts of your application. Well that's how I see it anyways..

For me the 2nd one is better, it sounds more personal. However, i saw many MIT applicant mention about piano for the first short essays, this may make your essay not unique, perhaps you also do other things for pleasure? I would suggest you change the focus or you can make it more unique, maybe by adding special details.

Hope this help, I am applying MIT also, please have a look on it, i need comments urgently.

you seem to have to different ways of saying the samething. 1 that sounds more sophisticated and another sounding more relatable through his language. i would suggest combing them, in a way that the language is still relatble but using sophisticated diction in certain spots that demonstrate your knowledge

The first one engaged me. I love classical music, and what you describe made me imagine u going into your own little world while playing the piano. I think you should go with the first one and i think the people in MIT (with their imagination) should enjoy the first one more . Can u please take a look at my essays and tell me what you think ??? (i am applying to MIT too )