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"Playing the piano" + "Masdar" - MIT short Answers

pquesada90 2 / 4  
Dec 26, 2010   #1
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

Playing piano is one of the few activities I perform just for the pleasure of doing so. As a musical autodidactic, I began playing simple melodies by ear aided with tutorial videos from Facetube, and, after years of attempting to improve my deficient technique, my perseverance had paid off. I'm now able to play most of my...

Please critique. I will upload the rest of the questions as soon as I'm done with them
Thank you for your help!
Rahsadara 1 / 3  
Dec 26, 2010   #2
-the first one is good
-it answers the prompt
-instead of "such as Mozart's..." put "for example" or add another one of your favorite songs
-The last sentence could be improved by saying something like "it is a moment that allows me to temporary disconnect from reality and enjoy life"

2nd Question
-this one is a keeper
-change the sentence "as i will receive a world-class..." it does not flow with what you are saying in the sentence as a whole

-spelling error: projects, happily
-pick one: sustainable infrastructures OR systems not both
-take out as in the second to last sentence
-change expand to expanding when you make corrections

Hope this helps!
Annie1993nw 1 / 2  
Dec 27, 2010   #3
Only two short answers can't show a whole picture of you...However, I think you might think of another topic to talk about in the first question, because I believe that many students write about common pleasant activities like playing a music instrument. So, AOs can't distinguish you from others simply by reading your essays.

As to the second essay, the answer doesn't seem to be tailored to you as an individual. Do you have any subtle observation or real world experience in this field? Add them to this piece of work.
tanyasilva11 10 / 38  
Dec 27, 2010   #4
i think these are good but aren't personalized enough. i've read many essays on here for MIT that have to do with playing an instrument, so you can bet that the AO will be tired of reading about instruments. is there something else you do for fun? hiking? fishing? walking the dog, even?

could you please take a look at my supp essay for university of san diego? thank you
gigi5 3 / 12  
Dec 28, 2010   #5
wow. I'm also writing about playing the piano in the same prompt. I guess I will have to think of something new. :D
OP pquesada90 2 / 4  
Dec 29, 2010   #6
Part 2 of my application is now here:
What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)

Some years ago, I went with a couple of friends to do some fishing with no more than a fishing line, a hook, and some tortilla for bait. I had never caught a fish before in my life, so I promised myself this would be my first time. Hours passed, and no one had caught anything. Eventually, my friends gave up, but because I was determined to catch my fish, I couldn't stop trying. I dug out worms to use them as bait, and climbed a tree branch that was directly above the pond, risking falling into the water. My friends soon began complaining, as they were hungry and they had to wait for me. Nevertheless, I kept fishing. And, after two long hours of waiting, my line was finally yanked. I pulled excitedly. I remember seeing the fish's face coming out of the water, its tail splashing the surface. And then, just when I thought I had made my first caught, it managed to break free and jump back to the pond. And, I would have kept trying, but my friends had grown impatient, and I also was very hungry. So, once again, I had failed. Nevertheless, my friends acknowledged my great perseverance, a personal trait I've always been proud of.

My will to succeed on the things I propose to myself has given me a strong, determined character. Learning to play the piano, reaching black belt in Haidong Gumdo, and becoming academically successful are some of the things I would had never achieved if it wasn't for my determination-a determination that can only be stopped by hunger.

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (*) (200-250 words)

One of the biggest challenges I've ever faced was conquering the rapids of the Actopan River. I can't tell for sure what was going in my mind when I agreed to attend a 10km rapids descent on Kayak. I was a beginner in this sport, and I had never paddled on rapids before. My greatest fear was flipping when there were rocks around. When inside a Kayak, a flexible cover is worn in the hatch to prevent water from entering the boat. But if you flip, the cover may prevent you from leaving the kayak, so there is a risk your head may hit a rock and knock you out. Ironically, the first part of the rapids was called the "Skull-breaker", as it was considered the most dangerous part of the descent. At first, I was convinced this would be the end of my short life. But, as we approached the first rapids, my attitude changed, and I decided to face the river. "Whatever happens, I will not flip" I said to myself. What I lacked in experience, I quickly compensated with a fierce determination of conquering the river. An overdose of adrenaline helped me paddle harder than ever, fighting off the treacherous waters that tried to flip me or make me crash into the rocks. And before I knew I had crossed the Skull-breaker in one piece. I soon discovered the river was my friend, not my enemy, and that if I used its power to my advantage, I could have a lot of fun. This experience made me realize that there are many things we don't need to be afraid of. Fear can actually become a barrier to new experiences that will enrich our lives.

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