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'quiet girl'/"The Power of Introverts''; Brown/ perspective/ being an introver



vncnz 1 / 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #1
it's not finished and needs a conclusion, but if there are any grammatical errors or awkward sentences, please let me know! any advice is helpful, thanks.

prompt: Sculptor Jacques Lipchitz once said "Cubism is like standing at a certain point on a mountain and looking around. If you go higher and higher, things will look different; if you go lower, again they will look different. It is a point of view." With this in mind, describe a moment when your perspective changed.

To many people, I am the 'quiet girl'. It is true that at times I don't say much. I became aware of this in middle school, when a classmate turned to me and asked, "Why are you so quiet?". She crinkled her nose and squinted her eyes in confusion, as if being quiet were some odd, repulsive quality. I was not sure how to answer. Truthfully, I had not realized until that moment that there was anything unusual about preferring to watch and listen.

Perhaps the student was only curious, but from then on the endless queries of "Why don't you say anything?" and frank statements that "Erica is so shy" began to beat a message into my mind: You are wrong. My introversion became a great torture for me; I hated myself for not being as talkative as everyone else.

When I came across "The Power of Introverts," a TED talk lecture by Susan Cain, I started to rethink the way I viewed myself. Just because I am sometimes quiet does not mean there is nothing valuable or interesting in my mind. Rather than always talking, I enjoy watching the world unfold around me. I observe the interactions between people and question why humans act as they do. I notice the colors, lights, and shadows of my environment and wonder what makes a place beautiful. Although it was not an immediate process, I began to appreciate my introversion for what it is: a quality that helps me think, question, and create.

thestarfus - / 4  
Jan 1, 2013   #2
Erica is so shy," add the comma. BTW I saw the ted talk about introverts too. I can relate.
ethannov 2 / 12  
Jan 1, 2013   #3
Sounds really good.

Only thing I would consider revising:

She crinkled her nose and squinted her eyes in confusion, as if being quiet were some odd, repulsive quality. I was not sure how to answer. Truthfully, I had not realized until that moment that there was anything unusual about preferring to watch and listen.
Perhaps the student was only curious, but from then on the endless queries of "Why don't you say anything?" and frank statements that "Erica is so shy"

You could either cut that last part out:

She crinkled her nose and squinted her eyes in confusion, as if being quiet were some odd, repulsive quality. I was not sure how to answer. Truthfully, I had not realized until that moment that there was anything unusual about preferring to watch and listen.

Perhaps the student was only curious, but from then on the endless queries of "Why don't you say anything?" and frank statements that "Erica is so shy

or

She crinkled her nose and squinted her eyes in confusion, as if being quiet were some odd, repulsive quality. Until that moment, I never thought it was unusual to just watch and listen.

Just a suggestion!

If you could look at my UVA (take 2) it would be appreciated!


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