"still a rainbow gleaming with the color of life" - Prompt on Personal Quality

I would love some general criticism. Also a little bit of cutting would be nice as well- so any suggestions on what I can get rid of or rephrase let me know. Thanks!

What affects the person we become is not the experiences we have, but rather how we perceive them. As an optimist I view the world in a way most people can never imagine. I live my life for the moment and when faced with hardship, I can't help but find the proverbial silver lining.

While walking to the coffee shop my freshman year I crossed the street unsuspecting of the man in the truck whose windshield was fogged up. He did not see me and I was run over by his truck as he turned the corner; the resulting consequence was a contusion in my left ankle. Still in shock, I dealt with the situation and managed to limp about 20 feet further, continuing on in my journey for coffee. My optimism has let me not be hindered by things that block my path, and this situation was no different. While waiting for my coffee, a teacher saw me and I proceeded to explain what happened to both her and the man working. Stunned, my teacher offered me a ride to school but not before the barista gave me my coffee, free of charge. As many would look upon this experience as traumatizing, I see the brighter side. Not only did I receive a free coffee and learn a new word (contusion), but I now had an intriguing story to tell, something I find quite valuable. Although some may consider this perspective pure insanity, I find that life is better when the sun is always shining. For this reason I am proud to be an optimist and see a world of hope rather than one of despair.

In every situation I see the positives, something to gain from the experience. I drive myself two and a half hours south to Vacaville every other Friday night and back north to Redding the following Sunday to visit my Mom for the weekend. My optimistic perspective has allowed me to persevere through the harder times in life, and a long, boring drive is no different. Although I have been making this excursion for six years, it is only my second year making the trip solo. I aim to come out stronger from every experience and from this solitary drive I have learned the value of intrinsic solitude. In addition, when I made the trip with my parents, I got a chance to bond with them that otherwise may not have been possible; we were able to talk free of distractions. This unique experience has allowed me to subdue my hyperactive personality and be proud of the transition I have made into a calmer human being.

I always look for the brighter side of every situation. Although there are many challenges that will come my way in the future, I am sure that my unique perspective will help me to deal with them. Being an optimist has allowed me to understand that everything happens for a reason. My eyes are now open to the world and I can see that the sun is always shinning with the color of life.

Nice :)

I just have one comment that I thought of:

"I was run over by a car my freshman year in high school. The driver did not see me walking and ran over my left ankle causing a contusion."

What a crazy thing to happen! I think you could convey your feelings during the accident by making it more descriptive and shocking and unexpected for the initial sentence or so (it'd draw the reader in more, I think). Just a thought. :)

Good Point. I'll see what I can do. I'm working on cutting down my word count and descriptions will make that hard. I think your right though, I should definitely use that shock value to stand out. Thank you. =)

As far as tying in how your outlook on life translates to being successful in college, I do not think that you actually need to include that story about the school newspaper. It is not really a good example of how your optimism works for you, it's more of an example of how determined you are. Plus, it's a really long story and you have your word count and everything.

You could change the sentence "Although I still face hardships, my optimistic perspective allows me to better deal with them." with something like: Although there are many challenges that will come may way in the future, my optimistic perspective will help me to deal with them.

Something like that. I know that it's not the greatest sentence in the world, but it's an idea..

Hope I helped a little :)

It' s pretty good, work on grammar little bit and you will be fine.

This essay is pretty good! It's a unique topic and kind of unexpected.

The only suggestion I have is that you maybe show how you were optimistic about things other than getting free coffee and a cool story to tell people. <--- that seems kind of...I don't know...shallow? Like now you can go brag to kids at your school that you got "run over"? I know that was not your intent at all, I'm just trying to be honest about how it came off to me. I would maybe say that whole incident made you feel optimistic by showing you how lucky you were for not getting hurt worse, how you appreciate life all the more, etc.... If you want to still keep it light-hearted, maybe just delete the part about the "intriguing story" you now had to tell.

Hope that helped!!

So i changed my last sentence to "My eyes are open to the world and I know that whatever difficulties I come across in college and in life I may not be prepared for, but I'll always be able to deal with."

That's a run-on sentence. I don't think I get what you mean by "My eyes are open to the world" either. Maybe you could change the sentence to something like "I know that I will come across difficulties in the future, but my outlook on life ensures that I will be able to deal with them."

And make sure that you don't have a lot of contractions in your statement, like "I'll".