hello, I was wondering if you could help me with fixing up my introduction paragraph, as well as editing me essay? Thank you.
the prompt is: Describe the world you come from ď for example, your family, community or school ď and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Essay:
Racing home as soon as I stepped off the bus. This was my daily routine throughout grade school. I would rush home to finish my homework and chores, so that I was raring to go once my dad got home from work. Since I can remember I have always been involved with physical activity- more specifically, running.
All my life my world has revolved around running. It started out as just something I did because my dad always did it, but soon turned into a passion.
Because I grew up in small town my primary school didn't offer an actual track team, but we did have annual track meets with the other schools in the area. My dad would help me train nearly everyday so I would be able to go to that meet. Being a typical kid, I wasn't too fond of doing my push-ups or sit-ups- I just wanted to run. No matter how hard my dad tried to get me to do them I wouldn't. As the years progressed, I was the one leading him up the road instead of him leading me. And then high school- I could finally put on that blue and gold uniform and run for a genuine team. The first thing I heard about was who the fastest runner was in our league, and as luck would have it, she just happened to be in my race. I was a nervous wreck the day of the meet. My dad told me I could do it, but I thought he had too much confidence in me. As we lined up at the starting line I thought I was going to fly away, I had so many butterflies in my stomach. Well, the butterflies must have done something because the next thing I knew I was crossing the finish line in first place. I remember seeing my dad with the proudest look on his face I had ever seen. From that day forward, I vowed to do all the crazy and exhausting training my dad had been trying to make me do for years.
As my dad told me from the beginning, all my hard work did pay off in the end. I received multiple honors for my achievements and was even recognized by many coaches. I am now ready to take that first step into the next phase of my life, with an unyielding will to reach the top. The advice, support, and love my dad provided me with all through my life is ultimately the reason I am where I am today, and where I will be tomorrow.
the prompt is: Describe the world you come from ď for example, your family, community or school ď and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Essay:
Racing home as soon as I stepped off the bus. This was my daily routine throughout grade school. I would rush home to finish my homework and chores, so that I was raring to go once my dad got home from work. Since I can remember I have always been involved with physical activity- more specifically, running.
All my life my world has revolved around running. It started out as just something I did because my dad always did it, but soon turned into a passion.
Because I grew up in small town my primary school didn't offer an actual track team, but we did have annual track meets with the other schools in the area. My dad would help me train nearly everyday so I would be able to go to that meet. Being a typical kid, I wasn't too fond of doing my push-ups or sit-ups- I just wanted to run. No matter how hard my dad tried to get me to do them I wouldn't. As the years progressed, I was the one leading him up the road instead of him leading me. And then high school- I could finally put on that blue and gold uniform and run for a genuine team. The first thing I heard about was who the fastest runner was in our league, and as luck would have it, she just happened to be in my race. I was a nervous wreck the day of the meet. My dad told me I could do it, but I thought he had too much confidence in me. As we lined up at the starting line I thought I was going to fly away, I had so many butterflies in my stomach. Well, the butterflies must have done something because the next thing I knew I was crossing the finish line in first place. I remember seeing my dad with the proudest look on his face I had ever seen. From that day forward, I vowed to do all the crazy and exhausting training my dad had been trying to make me do for years.
As my dad told me from the beginning, all my hard work did pay off in the end. I received multiple honors for my achievements and was even recognized by many coaches. I am now ready to take that first step into the next phase of my life, with an unyielding will to reach the top. The advice, support, and love my dad provided me with all through my life is ultimately the reason I am where I am today, and where I will be tomorrow.