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Rich natural resources vs pollution and deforestation; how my study and degree will help my country?



diamonde 3 / 4  
Sep 18, 2016   #1
My country just like its neighboring countries is blessed with various natural resources including forests, minerals, water and wildlife resources amongst others. It is one of the most natural resource endowed countries in the West African sub-region. These resources have made and still continues to make critical contributions to the country's development. Poor management and exploitation of my country's natural resources has been in existence for quite some time now. There has been lots of environmental damages such as air and water pollution, deforestation, destruction of land in my village which poses a lot of threat to biodiversity. The country has over the years evaluated economic costs to about US$516 million of lost productivity due to damage to five types of natural resources: agricultural land, forest and savanna woodlands, coastal fisheries and wetlands, wildlife, and its largest lake.

Pursuing Bio-resource engineering program in your university will equip me with the maximum knowledge and skills to add to what I already have. With this knowledge that will be imparted to me by the professionals at your notable institution, I will collaborate with stake holders already in the field to help exploit these natural resources properly. More advance means of cultivating crops other than the use of lands since majority have been degraded will be put in place to provide more food for local consumption and also for exports to generate revenue for the development of the nation since agriculture contributes a lot to the nation's Gross Domestic Product and it is also deemed to be the backbone of the nation. This will also in turn reduce or minimize the environmental hazards facing the country.

Wolf Larsen - / 109  
Sep 18, 2016   #2
Hello

I think you should consider applying some corrections/adjustments to the text so that it sounds little more refined. They are as follows:

just like its neighboring countries ...resources amongst others [...] no need for this
the most natural resource endowed [...] resource-rich countries....
have made and still continues to make critical contributions [...]continue to contribute to the...
has been in existence [...] considered a major obstacle in the way of my country's development for...
There has been lots of [...] My village has been exposed to many environmental hazards, such as...
will equip [...] endow...
that will be imparted to me by the professionals [...] aquired at your notable institution, I will be able to contribute towards ensuring that my country's natural resources are exploited in the environmentally sound manner.

for the development of the nation [...] You should end the sentence at this point and start a new one:After all, agriculture contributes...
This will also in turn [...] This, in turn, will also...

I hope this will help. Regards.


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