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'run while chasing a dream' - University of Cincinnati



kk570xoxo 1 / -  
Nov 21, 2011   #1
Please provide a Personal Statement regarding how your academic achievements, personal interests, and life experiences have helped prepare you to succeed academically and to be an active member of the UC community. Be sure your response addresses each of the three components. (Please limit your response to approximately 250 words).

An anonymous author once wrote "There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream." Growing up, this quote guided my life, and continues to do so as I chase my dreams of attending The University of Cincinnati.

At a very young age, I developed an interest in animals. I had the opportunity to grow up on a farm, and thus quickly falling in love with all aspects of farm life. I competed in the local county fairs, delivered newborn goats, nursed horses back to health and even raised an injured deer. When I was in eighth grade, my dad decided that it was time for me to have a farm to call my own, and turn it into a business. Thus, Chasing Dreams Farm LLC was born.

Academically, things came naturally to me. Over the course of my elementary education, I won two spelling bees, took first place in an art show, and received the President's Education Award for Outstanding Academic Excellence for three consecutive years. In high school, I participated on the forensics team, and won third place at state tournament. I decided to challenge myself by graduating high school a year early. I knew what I wanted to do with my life and I couldn't wait to get started.

My dream is to be a biomedical engineer. I want to change the world, through helping people and animals. I don't know how many miles I will have to run to get there, but I will continue to persevere and eventually achieve my dreams of changing the world. I know I can accomplish this chasing my dreams and attending UC.

Please critique and give me pointers on how to improve this!

deepa21 5 / 12  
Nov 21, 2011   #2
Organization can be done more better . By end of the passage we come to know that you are interested in biomedical engineer.
Essay has to be little longer details should be linked to each other.
Mention your agenda first in introduction. Why u want to join the UC . Then each term academic achievements, personal interests, and life experiences
And associate an example with every term

Introduction : Tell them what u are going to tell

Body : Tell them with details and examples

Conclusion : Tell them what u have told them .


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