Describe the environment you come from. Example: your family, community, or school - and how this environment has affected or influenced your plans for the future. (400 word limit)
As with most immigrants, my family moved to the United States in search for a better life. The American Dream, after all, is a tantalizing prospect, especially for a family that has always been plagued with financial concerns. It has been eight years since and our situation has, unfortunately, barely improved. Money is as tight as ever, and my parents' hope for a better life is beginning to fade, what with the idea of prosperity no longer as attainable as it once had been. Living in a neighborhood that is primarily upper middle class hasn't made it any easier, either. The opportunities and amenities are plentiful, sure, but not necessarily affordable. My parents work hard to make sure that my sister and I aren't entirely left behind by our peers. Still, despite their best efforts, it is hard not to feel a little out of place, especially when surrounded by those who can't even fathom being unable to afford trivial things like class field trips. I learned early on that it was necessary to make sacrifices-to distinguish between necessities and things I want, but can do without. It is a daunting task; after all, for a teen such as myself, these things tend to be separated by a fine line more often times than not.
Thankfully, I have garnered a great deal of perseverance from my parents, as well as the ability to adapt to change and circumstance. Their struggles have served to only motivate me further. Instead of lamenting over missed opportunities, I focus all my energy into excelling in school. After all, a good education is a stepping stone into a brighter future. I am confident that at Michigan State I would be able to fulfill my goals and be prepared for a career that would enable me to help my parents, so they no longer have to struggle financially. Perhaps, given Michigan State's vastly diverse campus, I might even find my niche.
Word Count: 326
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Please comment! Any input would be very much appreciated :) Also, I was wondering if this essay could also fit Notre Dame's Essay Prompt (posted below) after some tweaking, perhaps, if I focused in on wanting to use my education to better my parents' lives and ease their financial struggles? Let me know :)
Notre Dame Prompt
In a homily during his visit to the United States, Pope Benedict XVI stated, "Today's celebration is more than an occasion of gratitude for graces received. It is also a summons to move forward with firm resolve to use wisely the blessings of freedom, in order to build a future of hope for coming generations." How will a Notre Dame education enable you to answer the call to "use wisely the blessings of freedom, in order to build a future hope" for others in your own way?
I think your essay is good and, with tweakings, can be used for the Notre Dame essay as well. However, I think that you should go more in-depth with how you have excelled in school and how your family's financial struggles inhibit you and your family which therefore leads the Admissions Officers to get to know you more.
