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the Senior Capstone Program in Engineering, technical expertise - Why Olin?



cvmiller39 3 / 10  
Dec 28, 2010   #1
This is my first draft of the first Olin essay. It was very difficult for me for some reason. Anyways, you guys know the drill: any comments are greatly appreciated, and I would be more than happy to read your essays in return.

Given what you know about Olin College, please tell us why you think Olin is a good fit for you. 500 words or less.

"Never heard of it," was my honest reply when asked by an uncle one year ago if I was familiar with the Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering. "You should check it out," he said. "It's this small, relatively new school in Massachusetts that only takes about eighty-five kids a year. And they pay for your entire tuition if you are admitted." Intrigued by these words, I decided to do some research of my own. I am happy to say that what I discovered upon my further investigation of Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering was a unique mixture of individuality and group interaction, and the ideal environment for me to continue my studies.

The link between individuality and group affiliation at Olin comes in the form of the Honor Code. The Honor Code at Olin makes the longevity of the college the direct responsibility of the student body. I am a firm believer in academic integrity, so I was particularly interested to learn more about the code's uses and how violations, such as cheating, are very serious affairs, and are regulated by the student-operated Honor Board. On my tour of the campus, for example, I learned how students take tests by themselves and are permitted to use outside sources for answers, so long as they are cited properly. The Honor Code holds each student to be proud of his or her own accomplishments, and I really like the way that this aspect of the code is integrated into the project-driven atmosphere of Olin. I thrive on the opportunity to lead others successfully, but at Olin, I can also see myself satisfied and equally valuable as others take charge.

Another attractive feature of Olin is its interdisciplinary conglomeration of liberal arts, entrepreneurship, and hard sciences and math. For a person like me with many varied interests, it is comforting to know that Olin can provide ways, such as the Olin Conductorless Orchestra, for me to enrich my academic and musical passions outside of engineering.

One major concern I had while searching for the right engineering school was the lack of required work experience. It seemed that each successive college I visited simply expected their faculty, student-teacher research opportunities, and classroom learning to translate successfully into post-graduate employment preparedness. Olin, however, is much different; there is no co-op or internship opportunity, or sponsored lab research, or permanent research-specific faculty. The required entrepreneurial curriculum, alongside a solid engineering foundation, assures me that I will be able to survive in the business world of engineering. Moreover, the Senior Capstone Program in Engineering (SCOPE) provides Olin seniors with a real-world problem scenario sponsored by a corporation or non-profit organization; nothing says "work experience" like the task of solving such a problem with a group of other Olin students by utilizing state-of-the-art resources, technical expertise, and realistic time constraints. I want to contribute my unique talents and leadership skills to a team of engineers, and I believe SCOPE is truly the closest thing to real, modern engineering available to a college student.

Olin is truly a unique environment for learning, and a much different take on engineering education than anywhere else in the world. I want to be a part of this community.

jz7 6 / 20  
Dec 29, 2010   #2
This is a pretty solid essay. It shows you know a lot about Olin and you show full interest in going there!

My suggestion would be to incorporate the part of the prompt that says "why you thin Olin is a GOOD FIT FOR YOU".

you mention a lot of how Olin is great and you love this program, but think about how you can contribute to Olin, like from an Admission Officers point of view.

Hope that helped! just a suggestion.

Please maybe look at my personal statement or other posts if you have time, thanks!
Ape 1 / 3  
Dec 29, 2010   #3
'Never heard of it' kinda shows your former indifference and a lack of information which the admission officers don't wanna see in applicants' essays, even though you truely never heard of it.
joyjoy1321 - / 1  
Dec 29, 2010   #4
I have to say the 'Never heard of it' was not a problem for me. I graduated from Olin college and 'never heard of it' is what we expect from people. I like how you talk specifically about SCOPE and the Honor board and how you mention you want real-world experience. You could also mention something about Olin's project-based curriculum (How first years make toys in Design Nature for 4th graders and the 4th graders grade them) or how many Olin-Babson endeavors result in start ups but only if it strongly speaks to you. But I know you have a word limit and I think your essay is pretty good. I agree with the first poster who suggested a little bit more 'you' specifically. If there is a specific example of what you would bring to Olin...a club you want to start or a perspective or experience you uniquely can offer that would be a plus. But I think you did a good job of highlighting the engineering-entrepreneurship aspect which is very important to Olin.
fc barca 4 / 18  
Dec 29, 2010   #5
good job: you definitely give very valid arguments as to why Olin would be a good fit for you.
- 'but curiosity got the better of me' doesn't make too much sense... why the but?
- *at Olin, something that I really love about THE COLLEGE
- I agree with Jz7: try to talk about what you could contribute to the college plus you say why things about the college are good, but not why they're good for YOU. for example, say why the conglomeration or individuality works for YOU (maybe you've always had very varied interests and maybe you are very unique) like you do when you describe that you like the honor code because you are a very firm believer in academic integrity.

good luck!
ShadoPoig 11 / 36  
Dec 29, 2010   #6
Agreed; the "Never heard of it" line stuck out to me. In a not-so-good way. It seemed like you were reading a newspaper or something and had no interest in the college. Then, the curiosity line makes it seem like you were ambivalent for a while about learning more about the college. Keep that out.

Also, add more about what you're going to do and how you're going to take advantage of the environment!

Otherwise, great essay.
OP cvmiller39 3 / 10  
Dec 29, 2010   #7
Hey guys, first off: thank you for all of your contributions. I really appreciate the help, as this is incredibly last-minute. Here is an updated version of the essay. Hopefully I hit everybody's concerns. The word limit is 500 and I am currently at 538 so I still have some work to do.

Thanks,
Andrew
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 12, 2011   #8
This is a great discussion. About that detail with "never heard of it," I suggest asking yourself what role it plays. Always be mindful of your purpose, your envisioned outcome.

I don't see anything useful in the whole first paragraph. I'll keep reading until I get to the part that affects me as a reader...

HERE!! I am happy to say that what I discovered --This is the first good sentence, and it really is a good one! "I am happy..." that is a powerful way to start an essay because of the way it affects the reader's subconscious mind.

Let's not use a cliche: I am a firm believer in .. .
In fact, let's not state that we are a firm believer in integrity.. let's let that go without saying.

This is a strong essay!


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