I picked a unique topic to write about. How is it? As much criticism as possible plz to help me. Also grammar mistakes if ya find them. Much appreciated!
prompt:Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Towards the beginning of middle school, like the rest of my classmates, I was desperately looking for a school sport or extra-curricular activity to join. Football and Basketball seemed like the obvious choice at the time; it was what the majority of the boys in my school did, and so I ended up joining both teams for two years. Both sports had their own positive qualities to them, but I wanted to do something different from the norm, something unique to make me stand out from the rest of my classmates in school. Around the end of middle school I discovered skateboarding, and would subsequently have to wait till Christmas to get my first skateboard - the long wait would be totally worth it!
For the first few years skateboarding not only sucked in and demanded all the free time I had outside of school, but also brought me to the breaking point of my body and the mental limits of my mind. After waiting all day for the sound of a ringing bell to fill my ears and let me out of class, I would be off to the nearest park - sometimes alone and sometimes with others - where I would spend the rest of the day practicing my tricks until the sun went down and took with it the light I needed to continue skating. Learning how to skateboard is no doubt the most difficult thing I have ever done; it took me months just to have enough board control to cruise down the street without falling on the smallest of cracks in the road. The first few years were the most brutal and challenging in my life. Nothing compares to having to be out in hundred degree weather trying to slide down the handrail of a ten foot tall flight of stairs for hours while every jump results in agonizing slams into the pavement with already bruised legs and hands dying for some kind of rest. Often times the days would end in failure with me not being able to land the trick I was trying, and I would end up having to walk home with legs that were ready to collapse and mental disappointment that would not go away for days; it would take a couple of nights of rest for the heels on my feet to recover enough for me to go out and try again. All the injuries, from broken ankles to sprained body parts ranging from the toes on my feet to the palms of my hands would all be worth it in the end when I was finally able to land a trick I had been trying for what may have been hours, days, and sometimes weeks. That singular moment of finally landing something and rolling away was what skateboarding was all about for me; it filled the mind with unimaginable ecstasy that brought with it the excitement and joy I needed to rationalize the insane amount of dedication, practice and mental strain that was put into a trick.
All that time spent skateboarding - over thousands of hours throughout the years - has shaped me into the person I am today. The dedication involved in skateboarding is the most intense I have ever experienced; it is the most positive attribute that has spilled into other segments of my life. The practice and dedication I put into everything in my life now is a direct result of the skateboarding I did all throughout my youth; it has prepared me for every difficult challenge I have had up until this point in my life, and I know it will continue to help me through the difficulties ahead. To this day I still continue to go out and skateboard as a way for me to relax and clear my mind the same way that people use movie theaters as a way to escape reality for a few hours. Skateboarding continues to help shape my life and still manages to give me that small amount of uniqueness I always craved as a child.
Around the end of middle school I discovered skateboarding, and would subsequently have to wait till Christmas to get my first skateboard - the long wait would be totally worth it!
I think you should change this sentence a little, specifically the part that says subsequently.
But that is a small gripe, this essay is really good. As a skateboarder myself I can really relate to your essay, it is a very well described experience.
I also like the way that you tied together how skateboarding effected your life in a positive manner. Good job =)
