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"A special biology teacher" - Essay A - "Someone who has made an impact..."



tropicalfish 3 / 2  
Nov 7, 2010   #1
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

Teachers-to some, they are boring and annoying. To others, they are people who enjoy giving mediocre grades. We deal with them for more than 15120 hours of our life, adding up to more than 600 days of non-stop interaction, lectures, and tests. However, this time that have to spend dealing with my teachers makes me realize the time they spend dealing with me as well as other students, and that makes them special. Even though we may dislike what they do or the grades they give us, they've taken out years of their life preparing their lesson plans, grading assignments, and answering students' questions.

Once such special teacher that I've had in my life was my 9th grade Biology teacher from Jasper High School, Mrs. Pat Kite. When I first came into class, she began yelling at people to sit in their seats. She proceeded to introduce her class and her rules, and then gave us a quiz. On the first day! We were to take notes on what would be a "highly scientific" video. A clip of "The Little Mermaid" began to play and everyone began to look at each other with confused looks. The teacher yelled out "TAKE NOTES!" and we were sure that she was insane. Being the naughty kid I used to be, I was sure that I wouldn't survive the class.

Over the first semester, many people dropped the class due to sheer fear of Mrs. Kite. However, I decided to stay in the class and see how I would fare. Although I, too, was scared of her, I began to enjoy the class as her teaching style began to grow on me. She pushed me to do well in class, take notes, and work diligently. Her strict instruction for lab procedure helped me learn to do things carefully with caution. Her reinforcement of academic integrity during tests helped me avoid the temptation to cheat. Most importantly, she has helped me be a better student.

Even though I did not have great interest in Biology and did not wish to pursue it in the future, I knew that Mrs. Kite was a special teacher to me. Her dedication to her job and her care for students like me served as a strong example for the way I should conduct myself. Today, Mrs. Kite has been reassigned to teach on-level Biology due to a disagreement over the Honors Biology curriculum. I learned that she insisted on keeping an integral part of the curriculum, but failed to convince the school officials. Having heard about this, I was disappointed, because I knew that she was the best Biology teacher in the school. However, I also realized her dedication to teaching Biology, no matter the level of the class. Even though that was only 9th grade and I've encountered more challenges later on in high school, I feel more prepared and dedicated to my work.

I think I may not be talking about myself enough in this one, or that it may be too general. Please read over it... Thanks.

paolalazarus 1 / 4  
Nov 7, 2010   #2
i think it might be too general. i think you should really talk about something life changing something really impacting that happened in that class. Its a good essay, and well written as well but I felt like you weren't really into in as you wrote it. seems like you just picked the first thing that came to mind.

its good that you talk about how she made you a better student. but give specific examples.

Once such special teacher that I've had in my life was my 9th grade Biology teacher from Jasper High School , Mrs. Pat Kite.
take this out

She proceeded to introduce her class and her rules, and then gave us a quiz. On the first day!
im not sure this is the best way to express your reaction. its a fragment and kind of just stray in your whole paragraph

i think you could make it a bit longer adding the stuff i told you
i hope i helped
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 17, 2010   #3
However, this time that have to spend dealing with my teachers makes me realize the time they spend dealing with me as well as other students, and that makes them special.

I think "my" should be changed to "our" to be consistent with the 1st person plural perspective you have been using in the paragraph.

Also, add the word "we" to that sentence.
One other thing about that sentence: It seems like you are saying that putting up with teachers made you realize how difficult it must be for them to put up with you. It seems like a very negative outlook! You could say teachers deserve admiration because they want to improve the world by positively influencing the next generation.

:-)

And I'll make a small change here:
...because I knew that she was the best Biology teacher in the school.


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