Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are? *
My primary school had been chosen as the exemplary science school and at that time, our head master had organized an invention club. Among all my classmates, my homeroom teacher had recommended me for the club. I got involved in it. At that time, I was almost at the bottom of the class scholastically. I was not certain about it before she said, "Don't you like it? I thought you have been participating for many science fairs and it proved that your grade is only a superficial thing. Your grades indicate neither your interests nor potential abilities. I hope to see you doing well in the club." It was just a short talk, but it really encouraged me. In spite of her inspired words, I couldn't help feeling inferior among all the top students at the first meeting. Our first meeting took place in a small conference room next to the staff room. After headmaster's long admonitory speech, we were given our first task for the semester. It was to invent a means of transportation adopting any natural resources. All students were separated into 6 groups with 4 students each. My group held meetings every other day for about 3 months and we finally came up with a space ship using compressed oxygen. Even though our space ship wasn't as technically complicated as it sounds, I believe that we had at least come up with a new and good idea using natural resources. We connected two 2,000 cc Coke bottles together and put a corn shaped cap on top of the connected bottles, so that it looked just like a water rocket. We remodeled a bicycle pump into a launcher. The hardest thing was balancing the rocket, so it flew straight up into the sky. We were not only asked to make a means of transportation, but also a report showing how we came up with the idea and how we progressed. Fortunately, my group members are all specialized in one thing, so we could easily divide our tasks, projecting, writing a report, organizing, and putting it altogether using PowerPoint. Honestly, I believed that it would be possible to put our invention to practical use, only if we could make it big. During a school assembly, each group came presented its invention. After the demonstrations of other groups, finally we launched our space ship launched into the air and it flew in a vertical line. Of course, it neither reached the universe nor even went through an ozone layer; however, the fact that the space ship flew over the heads of all the students proved that our work was worthy of first prize. I felt released from all the burdens that I had been carrying my entire school life due to my bad school record. I enjoyed a priceless joy about own achievement. I wouldn't change anything about it, for that that experience keeps me encouraged even now. During those middle school days, I hadn't achieved anything special. I was busy just doing my course works and trying to fit into standard schooling. I realized that the turning point of my life had come when I met a teacher in grade nine. During our conversation, she said, "Study is different from any other business. Business might be dishonored because of the unexpected matters; however, there are no unexpected matters in studying. If you study hard, you can get an 'A', but if you don't study, you can easily get an 'F'. Study is the best way to secure success in your life." I took it in my heart and came to Thailand following the teacher. It was really hard to study because I nearly gave up studying for the last 3 years, but the accomplishment that I got after an exam kept me moving forward. I believe that I will draw renewed courage from it and can stand me up once again to pursue my dreams whenever I fall down.
"Among all my classmates, my homeroom teacher had recommended me for the club. I got involved in it. "
Maybe you could combine them, because "I got involved in it" is a little bit too short and abrupt.
"Don't you like it? I thought you have [know you've] been participating for [in] many science fairs and it proved that your grade is only a superficial thing [ "shown me your grade is only a superficial thing, and that they don't reflect your interests nor your potential".[ Your grades indicate neither your interests nor potential abilities. I hope to see you doing [think you'll do] well in the club."
After [the/our] headmaster's long admonitory speech, we were given our first task for the semester.
After the demonstrations of other groups [the other groups' demonstrations], finally we [finally] launched our space ship launched into the air and it flew in a vertical line.
Study[ing] is the best way to secure success in your life."
I liked your essay, I felt like i understood what you were saying well.
Check my essay?
