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Personal Statement for commonapp - A lesson



jelly 5 / 11  
Dec 23, 2009   #1
Common Application Topic of your choice.

A lesson

The secret I have hidden for years is that my mum died of cancer when I was only five. From that moment on, my life has been changed: The kid in her mom' arms and even just the word "Mum" had become razor-sharp swords which could easily stab me.

In the past few years, I burrowed myself in the world of my own, obstinately believing that I was the poorest child on the earth. Until one day, Grandma told me that my mum's disease was discovered in an early phase actually. Had it not been for the experiment of new drugs to delay the treatment, she wouldn't pass away so early. The instant when hearing this news, I could hardly accept it. "Whose mother would delay the treatment only for work without considering her daughter?" I asked hysterically. Without any explanation, my grandma told me more stories about my mother from that day on.

She was such a person who was willing to overcome various difficulties for her ideal; she was such a woman who changed people's stereotype of women by her actions and passion for science; she was such a scientist who could stay up all through the night for work, and the drug she developed has brought hopes to countless people. Growing up with such a strong role model, I has been affected very easily by her great enthusiasm, strong sense of responsibility and ardent love for life, even though she was no longer by my side.

In face of treatment, she resolutely decided to complete the research first. In others' eyes, they do not think it's worthy. However, in my mind, my mother must have some reasons. If she's still alive, it must be the best choice which can make her simile cheerily when she was recalling. Perhaps she had already planned for our future, but God did not give her enough time.

I realized that I am not that little girl who was just used to playing in her parents' arms anymore; instead, I am supposed to be independent and face up to my life. Apart from grades, there are more important things which deserve my great efforts, so while my classmates were busy in attending cram schools and doing plenty of papers, I spent plenty of time in doing those things that are not relevant to studies seemingly: I actively shuttled between many elementary and secondary schools in the whole city to call on everyone to collect hardboards for blind children and donate books and clothes for children in the poor areas; I tried to climb the snow mountains, challenge all unknown places and pour into such a challenge spirit to all other things. Admittedly, because of my involvement in those things, I would not be Top 1 in my class; however, these things will equip me with insightful views, strong exploration and high passion. In brief, it is such an educational mode to turn me into a real person.

Many friends do not know why I was very mature of my age? I have never told them this secret. By understanding the fragile nature of life, I realize how important it is to appreciate all that is around me and how important it is to do whatever I really want in the limited time. This is the most valuable lesson my mother gave me by her life.

Thanks for reading~~~~

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 24, 2009   #2
The sight of a ki d in her mom' arms and even just the word "Mum" have become razor-sharp swords which could easily stab me.

Had it not been for the experiment of new drugs to delay the treatment, she wouldn't pass away so early. ---> are you saying that she did not take the medicine she was supposed to take because she was busy working? I don't understand this part.

though she was no longer by my side.

Many of us see consciousness as more fundamental than matter, so we see these lives as temporary forms taken by the beings that we are; life is like a light show that lasts only 800 months or so... she might still be here beside you in a different form! Take a close look at other women in your world and see if she is there.

I realized that I am not that little girl who was just used to playing in her parents' arms anymore; instead, I am supposed to be independent and face up to my life.----> this sentence is where you make the essay a success. No one will deny you admission to the college of your choice when they see that you have such resolve. I believe that you really mean to make an excellent contribution no matter how hard you have to work. Your mother is still empowering you through her example even after all these years!
amyhr0311 2 / 6  
Dec 24, 2009   #3
wow I couldnt help feeling touched by your essay! the last paragraph was empowering and you showed your resolve and maturity well.

The secret I have hidden for years is that my mum died of cancer when I was only five. From that momenton , my life has been changed: kids in their moms' arms, and or even just the word "Mum" had became razor-sharp swords that stabbed my heart.

In the past few years, I burrowed myself in the world of my own, obstinately believing that I was the poorest child onEarth . Until one day, Grandma told me that my mum's disease was actually discovered in an early phase. Had it not been for the experiment of new drugs to delay the treatment (i dont get this part either ), she wouldn't pass away so early. Upon hearing this news, Icould barely accept it . "Whose Mom would delay cancer treatmentonly for work without sparing a thought for her daughter ?" I asked hysterically. Without any explanation, my grandma told me more stories about my mother from that day on. (i think the structure is weird? it sounds like direct translation from chinese :P) My grandmother was unfazed by my outburst; she merely continued her stories about my mother.

She was such a person who was willing to overcome various difficulties for her ideal; she was such a woman who changed people's stereotype of women by her actions and passion for science; she was such a scientist who could stay up all through the night for work, and the drug she developed has brought hopes to countless people. Growing up with such a strong role model, I has been affected very easily by her great enthusiasm, strong sense of responsibility and ardent love for life, even though she was no longer by my side.

In face of treatment, she resolutely decided to complete the research first. In others' eyes, theyOthers did not think it's worthy, but I know she must had her reasons .

Admittedly, because of my involvement in those things, I would not be Top 1number one in my class; however, these things will equip me with insightful views, strong exploration and high great passion. In brief, it is such an educational mode to turned me into a real person.

Many friends do not know why I was so mature for my age. I have never told them this secret. By understanding the fragile nature of life, I realize how important it is to appreciate all that is around me and how important it is to do whatever I really want in the limited time. This is the most valuable lesson my mother gave me by her life.

there! i couldn't help myself so i edited your mistakes!

are you a chinese? i was from china and i moved to singapore (:

anyway, could you help me take a look at my essay as well? thanks!!


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