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PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR KGSP/GKS undergraduate Scholarship/ Mass Communication Major

having100issues 1 / -  
Sep 13, 2021   #1
Hi, I would like to ask for some feedback on my essay. Thank you so much

Motivations with which you apply for this program

- Family and Education background

- Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you

- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences

- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.

The process of coming up with new ideas gives me an inexplicably satisfying feeling because It is like I can find another hidden aspect of myself. I remembered when I had to plan out the topic, themes as well as activities for a Sports Day in my school. We rubbed our heads and ears because we were so inexperienced at the time and we did not know how where to start. Initially, we decided to think up the activities first for the events so that we could devise an appropriate topic and theme following the activities, but we ended up reaching no agreement. We decided that we would like to do another way around: working on the topic and theme first. All of a sudden, I thought about one of my favorite books "the giver" and an idea was produced. "The Giver" told the story of a future world where the feelings and colors were eliminated, everyone was assigned a suitable job and even a compatible family. The giver was the one who hold the collective memories of the old colorful world where people could fully possess every emotion. With a little change to fit our context, I made the connection of the future world mentioned in the book with the fixed life routine that people got stuck in and became mindless of their physical and mental health. With the hope of bringing some dynamism and enjoyment to the participants, our Sports Festival would act as "the giver". Everyone's face was brightened, they took the ideas instantly and somehow the idea has become the map that led my team in the right way as everyone started to know what types of activities should be integrated into our festivals. Although it was not even counted as an achievement, a sense of excitement mounted in my heart - I love to do this thing.

Compared to the ideas that were rejected, the recognized and executed ones are inconsiderable. There were so many times that my ideas were put on the table for discussion, and a moment later every just pushed it aside and replaced it with another one. To be honest, I was quite uncomfortable with the refusal, and at some point, I thought that "Well, maybe I was not good at producing ideas and I should quit soon." But I realize that the unpleasant feeling could not stop my mind from wandering and dreaming. There is some kind of both pleasure and surprise derived from the process of brainstorming that I just feel like discovering myself again.

There are other reasons for me to become a screenplay writer besides idea-developing. I love writing, or in another word, the art of word-arranging. The beauty of writing lies in the way words just simply combine together but they can make a picture gradually pop up in the readers' mind like someone has painted it in their heads. Moreover, It feels likes all of my worries and difficulties just disappear when I can finally put my feelings and emotions into words. However, I am not confident with my writing skills and I knew that I have a lot of deficiencies in writing that I need to improve on. I used to hand my piece of writing to one of the literature teachers in my high school and she remarks that my writing was up and down. It is my philosophy that even when the practice can not make us the best, we are still moving forward thanks to it. Therefore, I hope that I can study Mass Communication major since its courses require me to learn intensively about writing with regular practice so I could improve on its more

Korean people have really succeeded with their filmmaking industry and the recent Oscar-winner "Parasite" has been the convincing proof of that gigantic leap that the Korean filmmaking industry has taken. Although Vietnam is a developing country, the film industry in Vietnam has not created any clear hallmark. Vietnamese people have not paid much attention to the domestic film industry, and few people really consider choosing film-related majors because the future of the film industry is not so bright in Vietnam. A dearth of good original scripts is one of the biggest hindrances that Vietnam has to manage to get through in order to produce successful movies. With the hope that I can still continue working in the field that I am interested in, combined with the desire to develop my country's film industry, I really want to be a screenplay writer and become a part of the team that produces high-quality films for my Vietnamese people. Korea is the ideal destination for me to learn and develop my skills throughout 4-year university because of the resemblances in the cultural and social background between the two countries as well as the secret to gain remarkable achievements in the film industry of Korea.

Moreover, I took a serious attitude with my studying and I always find chances to improve myself in the field that I am not so good at. When I first entered high school, I did not care about my study much because I had just finished my high school entrance exam and thought to myself that I had a great amount of time to do whatever I wanted. Until the end of grade 11th, when I received my study report did I start to notice that everyone was making progress and preparing for their future whereas I was standing at the same place throughout the two years. What was even worse was that I had a significant gap in my Math knowledge, one of the subjects that were compulsory in the national entrance exams. The fear and anxiety rapidly filled my heart and one questions span around in my head was: " How could I finish the three-year-worth knowledge in just one year?". However, when I started to calm down and think more carefully, my chances to fill the gap had not fully been compromised. I devised a detailed self-study plan to keep myself clear about what I needed to do in order to achieve my goal. Unluckily, COVID-19 happened and quarantine was something compulsory in Vietnam at the time. Staying inside the home all the time meant that I could not search for direct help from my teachers and peers so I decided to study on my own first by buying an online course that covered all the knowledge that I had to study. At the same time, I read all the books that I bought and did as many exercises as possible, noting down everything that I did not understand and searching the explanation on books in books and the internet before coming to the resort of asking someone else. I became more interested in Math because it trained my logical thinking and helped me practiced my self-studying skills. I have achieved a 9.4 out of 10 in my Math final grade, much higher than my grade in grades 10th and 11th. Throughout this experience, there were some lessons that I had gained that had changed my life completely. Firstly, everything that I learn today will be useful in the future, even it is not obvious now. When I had to take the Micro and Macroeconomics at my university, I could understand the subjects and calculated everything more easily thanks to my Math knowledge. That is why I paid great attention to any classes that I attend, mostly because I can use them in the future, and partly because it will save my time and effort when I have to revise the knowledge.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,582 4452  
Sep 14, 2021   #2
The applicant is applying for the wrong undergraduate course. Rather than Mass communications, he should be applying as a film student instead. His inspiration and overall discussion better fits a different course. It is also important that the writer understand that he focused only on the motivational aspect of the discussion. He failed to address the other discussion requirements as outlined in the prompt guide. So this essay needs to have a 2nd version. One that better addressess all of the required information. For the new draft, pair a response with a question.That way the writer does not miss any response points. Once outlined, the questions can be deleted to make room for the expanded discussion presentation.

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