I've written two essays for the overall common app essay, but I can't decide which is better. They're a little unconventional, so I may just have to scrap them and start over. Have no fear to be harsh.
The first here is under the "describe a person who has influenced you" prompt.
There is a girl I know who is unbelievably sweet. She is about five feet tall and just a little bit insane. She is having trouble with her college essays, and somehow whines about it in the most endearing way. She has an offbeat sense of humor and an offbeat sort of laugh - it is different every time I hear it. Her phone calls last for hours and hours, a fact she can never believe, and are always about absolute nonsense. She cares about school and always tries her best, yet can complain about the system with the best of them. She secretly has an obsession a war strategy computer game, and may just be a an 'antisocial' in disguise. She can laugh at herself and act very silly in public, but still cares about how everyone sees her. She worries all the time and says she is not very smart when I know she is. She is laughably indecisive and always asks "What do you want to do?" She is normal, and she is strange. She is kind and caring. Most of all, she is my favorite person, my very best friend.
All of this describes Jessica Yu, my best friend, and yet all of this can describe me too. We could not tell you the day we met, or how we became friends, or even our best memory together. But we have, in our five (or six, or maybe seven) years of friendship become individual, unique people who just happen to be almost exactly the same. She is a part of who I am, as you can see, and I would not be nearly as wonderful as a person as I am today without her. She inspires me in the strangest of ways. She keeps me modest, yet assures me I am much better at everything than I think I am. She keeps my feet on the ground when I wander in the clouds, and she allows me to unleash my insanity that would frighten away the general public. And this isn't a one sided friendship, I think I do the same for her. We are symbiotic, in the silliest sense of the word.
How does she do all this? How is Jessica able to inspire me so? I am really not quite sure. It could be how we call each other when we have nothing to say, and end up talking about everything under the sun. Perhaps how she sat through eighties movie after eighties movie with me, after she told me she did not like Ferris Bueller's Day Off and I had to find her an eighties movie she did like. (We didn't.) Maybe it has to do with how we can share anything with each other - but don't need to share everything to know what the other is thinking. How she knows when we should talk about something out and out, and when to joke about pink squirrels conquering the world. Is it sitting up in the dark, venting about parents and aunts? Or reminding me a 94 is still a perfectly respectable grade, that the one question I made a stupid mistake on is not the end of the word? Each one seems as plausible as the next, each quality as important to me as the last. Although, it is entirely possible how we effortlessly communicate is not my inspiration.
There is also the side of Jessica that is completely opposite of me, that might just be what how she inspires me. In her actions she pushes me to be a better student, a better person, and a better friend. Her hours of relentless studying and her neatly organized notes astonish my sporadic studying tendencies, pushing me to attempt to climb partway to her level. During tennis season, she takes me to the courts around the corner to practice with her, generally my only true exercise for a month. When she completed applications for two colleges before I started a single essay, I sat down with my pen and notebook and started writing while she cheered me on. Complaining is a strong suit of ours, yet where she vents on a topic for a few sentences and is done, I can comb over paragraphs and paragraphs. From her, I learn to let the uncontrollable go and just be nicer to the people around me.
Is just one of those the specific gem that is my inspiration? No, I just don't think I could pinpoint it to just one thing. I think it is the sum of these things, and something else completely indescribable. On their own, each of these qualities, or actions, or element of silliness is just a memory. It's just a piece of Jessica I can happen to recall. What inspires me is the nature of our relationship itself, the perfect way we fit together. We are exactly the same, yet utterly opposite. We can babble about the silliest of topics, not knowing what the other is talking about. And we can sit in soft silence and know exactly what the other needs to hear. The smiles that break across our faces when we see each other at long last, the laughs at jokes to come before we have even said a word. That intangible is my inspiration, how we feed off one another.
When I asked my best friend about this essay, she said, "How can you write an essay about me? You are the inspirational one!" Jessica Yu is a girl who is unbelievably sweet. I am her best friend, and she is mine. We are symbiotic, in the silliest sense of the word.
The repetition might be coming on a bit strong right there, but I'm not quite sure what the right way to end it is.
The second is a topic of my own choice, and was sort of a stress reliever during this whole process that developed into an essay I really like.
I live an aimless sort of life. It is not impressive, or extraordinary, or anything close to a proper topic for this essay, but it is true. And there is something undeniable about that.
I flit from thought to thought, from action to action. I don't keep an agenda notebook for assignments and important dates. I eat raw cabbage that never fails to make me sick. I start term papers at six, or nine, or midnight the day before they are due. I watch television I love when I have other things to do; I watch television I don't like when I have other things to do. My laundry is only done every two months, when I have absolutely run out of clean clothing. I never carry around enough cash. I order too much food at restaurants, always filling up on appetizers. I laugh at jokes five minutes too late.
The future, my future, is something I cannot bring myself to imagine. I don't seem to have any particular ambitions for anything more than what I am right now. I am rather certain I prioritize my life wrong. I obsess over simple things, without their futility until it is too late. I can be content lying idly staring into space. Studying is something I have not learned how to do properly - I just re-read the entire chapter, or unit, or novel the night before the test. I have never aspired to be a leader; with my contented attitude I don't think anything would ever be achieved by a group I led. And finally, I have no idea, not even an inkling, of what I want to be when I grow up. I barely believe that I will ever grow up. These are not things I have been told colleges want.
I like the way I am; I like the way I function, even if it is dysfunctional. I am happy with being aimless for now. I don't think anyone else should define who I should be.
The problem is, I want to go to college more than I have wanted almost anything in my life; I want to be the student that colleges want. Writing these essays, I didn't know what to do. I was caught between who I really am and who I wanted to show colleges. I desperately analyzed my activities for a common theme and cursed my antisocial self for not being in at least three more clubs. I tried to craft a personality that fit with what I did, a person that did not exist but could be me. I thought of suitable vignettes that might start an essay, weaving real character traits of mine like enthusiasm and love of learning with more impressive imaginary ones like charismatic leadership and bold initiative. I figured I am a good writer, and that is all these essays are looking for - my writing skills.
I spread out the outlines on the floor, and opened a new notebook, ready to fashion the perfect essay. But as I put my pen to paper, the few words I managed to pull out felt stiff and awkward. The whole plan felt wrong and irrational. I don't want to be accepted on a lie. I found that I care, really, about everything I do and say; I care about things that are a reflection of me. That is why this essay is about brutal honesty.
I realize I probably would not the first person, nor the last, to make up a story for a college acceptance essay; how would you know? It may seem pretentious and absurd, but I could not force the words. This is what I want to do, and this is the essay I want to present.
I am a collection of faults, and everyone else has to choose whether to accept me this way. I am who I am, and that is the way I like it.
I want to expand on a few points, but it already feels a bit long, and I probably shouldn't waste my time if I am the only one who likes it.
The first here is under the "describe a person who has influenced you" prompt.
There is a girl I know who is unbelievably sweet. She is about five feet tall and just a little bit insane. She is having trouble with her college essays, and somehow whines about it in the most endearing way. She has an offbeat sense of humor and an offbeat sort of laugh - it is different every time I hear it. Her phone calls last for hours and hours, a fact she can never believe, and are always about absolute nonsense. She cares about school and always tries her best, yet can complain about the system with the best of them. She secretly has an obsession a war strategy computer game, and may just be a an 'antisocial' in disguise. She can laugh at herself and act very silly in public, but still cares about how everyone sees her. She worries all the time and says she is not very smart when I know she is. She is laughably indecisive and always asks "What do you want to do?" She is normal, and she is strange. She is kind and caring. Most of all, she is my favorite person, my very best friend.
All of this describes Jessica Yu, my best friend, and yet all of this can describe me too. We could not tell you the day we met, or how we became friends, or even our best memory together. But we have, in our five (or six, or maybe seven) years of friendship become individual, unique people who just happen to be almost exactly the same. She is a part of who I am, as you can see, and I would not be nearly as wonderful as a person as I am today without her. She inspires me in the strangest of ways. She keeps me modest, yet assures me I am much better at everything than I think I am. She keeps my feet on the ground when I wander in the clouds, and she allows me to unleash my insanity that would frighten away the general public. And this isn't a one sided friendship, I think I do the same for her. We are symbiotic, in the silliest sense of the word.
How does she do all this? How is Jessica able to inspire me so? I am really not quite sure. It could be how we call each other when we have nothing to say, and end up talking about everything under the sun. Perhaps how she sat through eighties movie after eighties movie with me, after she told me she did not like Ferris Bueller's Day Off and I had to find her an eighties movie she did like. (We didn't.) Maybe it has to do with how we can share anything with each other - but don't need to share everything to know what the other is thinking. How she knows when we should talk about something out and out, and when to joke about pink squirrels conquering the world. Is it sitting up in the dark, venting about parents and aunts? Or reminding me a 94 is still a perfectly respectable grade, that the one question I made a stupid mistake on is not the end of the word? Each one seems as plausible as the next, each quality as important to me as the last. Although, it is entirely possible how we effortlessly communicate is not my inspiration.
There is also the side of Jessica that is completely opposite of me, that might just be what how she inspires me. In her actions she pushes me to be a better student, a better person, and a better friend. Her hours of relentless studying and her neatly organized notes astonish my sporadic studying tendencies, pushing me to attempt to climb partway to her level. During tennis season, she takes me to the courts around the corner to practice with her, generally my only true exercise for a month. When she completed applications for two colleges before I started a single essay, I sat down with my pen and notebook and started writing while she cheered me on. Complaining is a strong suit of ours, yet where she vents on a topic for a few sentences and is done, I can comb over paragraphs and paragraphs. From her, I learn to let the uncontrollable go and just be nicer to the people around me.
Is just one of those the specific gem that is my inspiration? No, I just don't think I could pinpoint it to just one thing. I think it is the sum of these things, and something else completely indescribable. On their own, each of these qualities, or actions, or element of silliness is just a memory. It's just a piece of Jessica I can happen to recall. What inspires me is the nature of our relationship itself, the perfect way we fit together. We are exactly the same, yet utterly opposite. We can babble about the silliest of topics, not knowing what the other is talking about. And we can sit in soft silence and know exactly what the other needs to hear. The smiles that break across our faces when we see each other at long last, the laughs at jokes to come before we have even said a word. That intangible is my inspiration, how we feed off one another.
When I asked my best friend about this essay, she said, "How can you write an essay about me? You are the inspirational one!" Jessica Yu is a girl who is unbelievably sweet. I am her best friend, and she is mine. We are symbiotic, in the silliest sense of the word.
The repetition might be coming on a bit strong right there, but I'm not quite sure what the right way to end it is.
The second is a topic of my own choice, and was sort of a stress reliever during this whole process that developed into an essay I really like.
I live an aimless sort of life. It is not impressive, or extraordinary, or anything close to a proper topic for this essay, but it is true. And there is something undeniable about that.
I flit from thought to thought, from action to action. I don't keep an agenda notebook for assignments and important dates. I eat raw cabbage that never fails to make me sick. I start term papers at six, or nine, or midnight the day before they are due. I watch television I love when I have other things to do; I watch television I don't like when I have other things to do. My laundry is only done every two months, when I have absolutely run out of clean clothing. I never carry around enough cash. I order too much food at restaurants, always filling up on appetizers. I laugh at jokes five minutes too late.
The future, my future, is something I cannot bring myself to imagine. I don't seem to have any particular ambitions for anything more than what I am right now. I am rather certain I prioritize my life wrong. I obsess over simple things, without their futility until it is too late. I can be content lying idly staring into space. Studying is something I have not learned how to do properly - I just re-read the entire chapter, or unit, or novel the night before the test. I have never aspired to be a leader; with my contented attitude I don't think anything would ever be achieved by a group I led. And finally, I have no idea, not even an inkling, of what I want to be when I grow up. I barely believe that I will ever grow up. These are not things I have been told colleges want.
I like the way I am; I like the way I function, even if it is dysfunctional. I am happy with being aimless for now. I don't think anyone else should define who I should be.
The problem is, I want to go to college more than I have wanted almost anything in my life; I want to be the student that colleges want. Writing these essays, I didn't know what to do. I was caught between who I really am and who I wanted to show colleges. I desperately analyzed my activities for a common theme and cursed my antisocial self for not being in at least three more clubs. I tried to craft a personality that fit with what I did, a person that did not exist but could be me. I thought of suitable vignettes that might start an essay, weaving real character traits of mine like enthusiasm and love of learning with more impressive imaginary ones like charismatic leadership and bold initiative. I figured I am a good writer, and that is all these essays are looking for - my writing skills.
I spread out the outlines on the floor, and opened a new notebook, ready to fashion the perfect essay. But as I put my pen to paper, the few words I managed to pull out felt stiff and awkward. The whole plan felt wrong and irrational. I don't want to be accepted on a lie. I found that I care, really, about everything I do and say; I care about things that are a reflection of me. That is why this essay is about brutal honesty.
I realize I probably would not the first person, nor the last, to make up a story for a college acceptance essay; how would you know? It may seem pretentious and absurd, but I could not force the words. This is what I want to do, and this is the essay I want to present.
I am a collection of faults, and everyone else has to choose whether to accept me this way. I am who I am, and that is the way I like it.
I want to expand on a few points, but it already feels a bit long, and I probably shouldn't waste my time if I am the only one who likes it.
Do You Need