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I was taught to work. I strove to be the best in whatever I did and I'd kill myself to end up on top


kylerobertson 1 / -  
Dec 30, 2014   #1
ESSAY: What can you offer NYU, and what can NYU offer you. (just pounded this essay out last night)
please give me a quick review, thanks!
Growing up in a low income family with a single mother I was taught to work. I strove to be the best in whatever I did and I would kill myself to end up on top. It was an admirable trait, however, all in vain. Once high schooled rolled around, whenever I succeeded, whether it be sports, school, or other endeavors, I was left with a sense of emptiness. I would scrutinize my accomplishments and question the significance of them. I was left restless as I realized the shallow impact lacrosse wins or grades had on other people and the world. Through these pensive tendencies a quote I heard began to linger in my mind, "Try not to be a man of success, but rather try to be a man of value". This quote lingered because it unsettled me. It fit directly with my pursuit of purpose and challenged me. With my lack of fulfillment I began to take this quote to heart and live by it. Soon I realized a shift in my priorities as I began to value helping others rather than selfish success. I strove to make friends with people who were alone at school or church, spend my time volunteering, and think compassionately rather than solely academically. As I continue to attempt to be a man of value rather than success, I am eager to bring my driven spirit into a school such as New York University. Rather than being another number or student chasing after money and success, I will bring a different mindset; a passion for significance. Whatever I may be involved in, I will pursue worth beyond affluence or glory. I will strive to make people's lives better, rather than just my own. With this goal, there is no school better than New York University to accomplish it at. With schools such as the College of Arts and Science providing over 60 minors, In which I hope to enroll at, I am thrilled at the unlimited possibilities I will have to make a difference in the world when I pair my drive with such a diverse education. On top of that, NYU is located in an area in which I will be able to get involved in a variety of activities and interact with diverse groups of people. Both aspects will provide me with numerous opportunities to impact other people's lives.
krcheng 5 / 9 2  
Dec 30, 2014   #2
You have good ideas but I think you need to be more specific as to what NYU can offer you. What major or department are u planning to apply to? talk more about that. Its good that you are sharing info about yourself but i think you can cut down on some. Focus more on directly answering the prompt. Good luck!


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