Hie people!please critique my Stanford"Letter to a roomamte" .I look forward to your comments!
Stanford University supplement.
Letter to a roommate.
Dear Taylor from Colorado,
It is such an honor to have you as a roommate. It will be such fun my American brother!
Taylor, as you know the month we enroll coincides with the harvest. The rains have been so heavy this year and we are expecting a bumper crop indeed! I have built you a hut to store your corn and wheat crop which I will garnish from my own quota of our family's harvest. I thatched the hut myself and was sure to smear every inch with cow dung and earth to make it stand out. You will love it my brother!
Meanwhile, I have been working tirelessly courting several girls from the village for your marriage ceremony. I tell you when I showed them that picture of you; they could not believe that an American wanted to marry them! One of the most beautiful girls in the village, Tendai, has been sleeping at the river all year. I told her that America is to the west of Africa, so she is sleeping at the riverbank beautifying herself in a mud bath all year, just for you. So you should hurry and ask her father's hand in marriage before the new moon, before the crocodiles eat her or the village boys take her!
As for your other two wives, well they are not as beautiful but they can cook very well! They have started a banana plantation and cattle kraal to help feed the children you will soon have. Please check the parcel I sent you for a small clay pot of beeswax. You must start twisting your hair into dreadlocks in preparation for the marriage rituals. I also sent you a ream of bright cloth. You must print the tie and dye pattern on the back of this letter onto the cloth as this will make you be accepted more easily by the ancestors.
Taylor, I cannot wait to meet you! I am bringing all three of your wives along, so be sure to prepare our room accordingly. But you must hurry and slaughter a goat before the fall so that the ancestors will allow me to bring your wives to Stanford!
Best wishes my brother!
Simba.
(P, S. Taylor, none of the above is true! I just wanted to give you a glimpse of my culture and traditions which, although I respect, clearly do not always uphold. Because you are from a very different culture to mine, I hope that we will be able to merge the divide and have exciting experience learning about each other's cultures! I look forward to meeting you (no wives attached!).
Simba.
I really like this letter. It is amusing, interesting, and, above all, informative about your own culture. I think admissions officers would find this interesting to read because it will probably be quite unique compared to the other applications they receive. Great job.
Simba, this is really cool. It is so fascinating to learn about the culture. I want to suggest something that might be important. You can take the P.S. and put it at the beginning, like this:
NOTE: Taylor, none of the above below is true! I just want to give you a glimpse of my culture and traditions which, although I respect, clearly do not always uphold. Because you are from a very different culture to mine, I hope that we will be able to merge the divide and have exciting experience learning about each other's cultures! I look forward to meeting you (no wives attached!).
Dear Taylor from Colorado,
It is such an honor to have you as a roommate. It will be such fun my American brother!
Taylor, as you know the month we enroll coincides with the harvest. The rains have been so heavy this year and we are expecting a bumper crop indeed! I have...
Thanks for sharing this inspired essay; I'm impressed! I should warn you to be careful talking about polygamy, and it might be a good idea to acknowledge that it is unfair to women. :-)
HAHAHA!
I can't believe how genius this is! If you think this represents your character well, you have to go with it!
Taylor is the man! Taylor for president!
The letter is really an interesting one. I must say that i was greatly surprised reading, "Meanwhile, I have been working tirelessly courting several girls from the village for your marriage ceremony." But as i went on, i couldn't stop smiling. However, I do agree with Kevin that you should put your last sentences to the front in case that any misunderstanding or confusion.
