'Threads curriculum for the College of Computing' Georgia Tech Essay Help

This is my first draft short essay for Georgia Tech. I would be happy to hear any suggestions to improve it.

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Part 1 - Short Essay (1,000 character limit, including punctuation and spaces)
Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech, and what do you hope to contribute to our community?

The aspect of Georgia Tech that has interested me the most is the Threads curriculum for the College of Computing. This has me interested because it is common for a Computer Science program to only deal with the subject in a general fashion, with focuses left up to individual initiative. While this works well to allow students to personalize their curriculum, it offers no guidelines to help students develop a level of mastery in a specific field of study. That's why the idea of Threads appeals to me. I want to have a better idea of where to take my studies in order to best develop my knowledge in the field I am most interested in, and Georgia Tech has that for me.

Okay, i get what your trying to say but i think your just defining what your trying to major in, you might wanna change that a little and add what you can do in the community more. :)