USC's What Matters to Me and Why essay topic: Write an essay about an event or experience that helped you learn what is important to you and why it is important.
Word Limit: 700 Words:701
Essay:
My family and I are about to embark on the ride of our lives through unknown territories with a group of people we've never met, I can't wait. I lift my head up at the sound of a woman's voice shouting, "Group four!" My heart started beating faster, it was time. Once our group was dressed in giant black rain jackets and matching red life jackets with the logo "ShotOver Jet" on the back in bright yellow we all stomped down the stairs to the freezing cold out on the dock to meet the driver. This wasn't your normal driver in a tuxedo. Our driver, Andrew, was not only dressed like us, but he also had a red jacket covering his matching life vest with a neon green hood on the back, a black hat with a strap around his neck to keep it on, and sunglasses. This was when we really understood how intense this ride was going to be and of course how wet we were going to get. Andrew led us to this sleek red speed boat with four by four seating, handle bars, and no seat belts. As we were settling in our seats he told us one very important rule, "When I spin my finger it means we are going to do a 360 so remember to hold on tight to the bars in front of you, we wouldn't want anyone flying out now would we?" With that he started the boat and off we went down the river gaining speed as we passed by rock walls to our sides and debris in the river. The wind and water blowing in my face distracted me because when I looked to my left we were what seemed a mere five feet from a rock wall. I could tell because I was on the edge of the boat in the back row, and if I had put my arm out I probably could have touched the wall. One of the reasons I didn't isn't just because I like having both hands attached to my body, but because it was so bone-chilling cold with the wind and water combination that I couldn't lift my hands from the heated bars in front of me. That and I didn't want to go flying out of the boat since I had just seen the dreaded spinning finger. Flying out of a spinning boat to "swim with the fishes" didn't seem that appealing so I decided to play it safe this time and hold on. I watched the driver's finger, one time around, two times around, and then it happened. It felt like we had hit a wall, the front of the boat dug in and the back lifted up and spun around to come crashing back in the water after a 360 degree spin sending a spray of water over us all. My head was still spinning as we took off again over the bumpy water, this time up river. With water splashing in my face and wind blasting in my ears I was having the time of my life. And so was the guy in the row in front of me. I remember him because he was the only guy with long brown hair draped over his face. At the moment all I saw was a mane of hair flying erratically in the wind to slap the woman in the face behind him. I don't think she enjoyed that. The ride continued in this fashion of bumps, spins, and high speed turns for about an hour until we returned to the dock. To strangers watching us get off the ride we looked wet and cold. Our chattering teeth might have aided them in that assumption, but what they didn't see was the spark in our eyes. We had just gone on one of the most exhilarating rides of our lives, and despite the feeling of being in an ice bath we all loved it. If I could give any advice it would be to try new things when you're in new places because you'll remember it for the rest of your life and you'll be able to say "I did that".
I'm a not completely sure if I did everything right(ex. quotes and comma placement). I just wanted to have someone double check my work who knows more. Thanks.
Word Limit: 700 Words:701
Essay:
My family and I are about to embark on the ride of our lives through unknown territories with a group of people we've never met, I can't wait. I lift my head up at the sound of a woman's voice shouting, "Group four!" My heart started beating faster, it was time. Once our group was dressed in giant black rain jackets and matching red life jackets with the logo "ShotOver Jet" on the back in bright yellow we all stomped down the stairs to the freezing cold out on the dock to meet the driver. This wasn't your normal driver in a tuxedo. Our driver, Andrew, was not only dressed like us, but he also had a red jacket covering his matching life vest with a neon green hood on the back, a black hat with a strap around his neck to keep it on, and sunglasses. This was when we really understood how intense this ride was going to be and of course how wet we were going to get. Andrew led us to this sleek red speed boat with four by four seating, handle bars, and no seat belts. As we were settling in our seats he told us one very important rule, "When I spin my finger it means we are going to do a 360 so remember to hold on tight to the bars in front of you, we wouldn't want anyone flying out now would we?" With that he started the boat and off we went down the river gaining speed as we passed by rock walls to our sides and debris in the river. The wind and water blowing in my face distracted me because when I looked to my left we were what seemed a mere five feet from a rock wall. I could tell because I was on the edge of the boat in the back row, and if I had put my arm out I probably could have touched the wall. One of the reasons I didn't isn't just because I like having both hands attached to my body, but because it was so bone-chilling cold with the wind and water combination that I couldn't lift my hands from the heated bars in front of me. That and I didn't want to go flying out of the boat since I had just seen the dreaded spinning finger. Flying out of a spinning boat to "swim with the fishes" didn't seem that appealing so I decided to play it safe this time and hold on. I watched the driver's finger, one time around, two times around, and then it happened. It felt like we had hit a wall, the front of the boat dug in and the back lifted up and spun around to come crashing back in the water after a 360 degree spin sending a spray of water over us all. My head was still spinning as we took off again over the bumpy water, this time up river. With water splashing in my face and wind blasting in my ears I was having the time of my life. And so was the guy in the row in front of me. I remember him because he was the only guy with long brown hair draped over his face. At the moment all I saw was a mane of hair flying erratically in the wind to slap the woman in the face behind him. I don't think she enjoyed that. The ride continued in this fashion of bumps, spins, and high speed turns for about an hour until we returned to the dock. To strangers watching us get off the ride we looked wet and cold. Our chattering teeth might have aided them in that assumption, but what they didn't see was the spark in our eyes. We had just gone on one of the most exhilarating rides of our lives, and despite the feeling of being in an ice bath we all loved it. If I could give any advice it would be to try new things when you're in new places because you'll remember it for the rest of your life and you'll be able to say "I did that".
I'm a not completely sure if I did everything right(ex. quotes and comma placement). I just wanted to have someone double check my work who knows more. Thanks.