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The more time people use the internet, the less time they spend with real human being



Geenesh 21 / 29  
Jun 28, 2011   #1
According to a recent study, the more time people use the internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Should we worry about the effect this is having on social interaction or should we see the internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide? What are your views?

In today's society, the Internet has made its way into almost every home. It has found a place in the hearts of many over the decades. With the advent of the latest technologies, now Internet is assessable not only through computers but also through mobile phones, providing an easy and convenient access to the web. In correlation to that, a research has brought to light that the more time people surf the Internet, the lesser is the time they spend with humans. This is certainly something that everyone should worry about. Though admittedly web is a great place for socializing, it can also pose negative impacts on human interactions.

Currently, we have many social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Friendster. These sites are places where we can find and make friends. Besides that, there are also messengers that enable anyone to chat, for instance MSN and Yahoo messenger. A study by the UNICEF shows that social networking websites have been voted as the fastest and easiest method of generating friendship compared to sending letters. Through these websites, we can without difficulty meet new friends and learn about their cultures as well as the traditions in their countries. Apart from that, we can also share our views on global and political issues which definitely open our horizons. To conclude, one can certainly benefit from communicating through Internet as it involves people from all over the world.

Nevertheless, looking from the another perspective, the more people spend their time online communicating with others from any part of the world, undoubtedly, the lesser is the time spent with their families and friends. According to a study done in Malaysia, most parents agree that their children tend to be so enthralled in chatting, that peeling them away from the computer can prove to be a complicated task. Consequently, they lack face to face interaction with family members and friends which will eventually result in them leading sedentary lifestyles and having poor social interaction skills.

Technology always has its positive and negative aspects. It is we who must be rational to analyze what is good and bad. Advisably, we must prepare ourselves well to be able to handle situations with a degree of reason and rationality. In short, we can utilize the Internet to unravel new communication possibilities but at the same time, human interactions must not be neglected.

dumi 1 / 6795  
Jun 28, 2011   #2
With the advent of the latest technologies, now Internet is assessableaccessible not only through computers but also through mobile phones, providing an easy and convenient access to the web. -----------note; assessable means quantifiable, measurable etc.

In correlation to that, a research has brought in to light that the more time people surf the Internet, the lesser is the time they spend with humans.

Though admittedly web is a great place for socializing and acquiring knowledge , it can also pose negative impacts on human interactions.

A study by the UNICEF shows that social networking websites have been voted as the fastest and easiest method of generating friendships compared to other methods such as sending letters, having telephone conversations etc.

Nevertheless, looking from the another perspective, the more people spend their time online communicating with others from any part of the world, undoubtedlyinternet , the lesser iswould be the time they spent with their families and friends------- I did this change because I felt your sentence is a bit too long and your ideas are getting repeated.

most parents agree that their children tend to be so enthralled in chatting, so that peelingthemdiverting their attention away from the computer can prove towould become a complicated task.

Your writing is of high quality. You would certainly not have a problem at IELTS. I gave above suggestions, thinking they help improve your essay further.
OP Geenesh 21 / 29  
Jun 28, 2011   #3
thanks de silva for the suggestions ... :)
fofo 2 / 5  
Jun 28, 2011   #4
That's almost perfect essay :D

keep it up
OP Geenesh 21 / 29  
Jun 28, 2011   #5
thank you so much ajit rai. i appreciate that very much. i believe it is not too late for me to know the proper structure of an IELTS essay. i just have a few questions. hope you can clear them up for me.

1. if the essay is about to what extent do you agree or disagree with the view, then i can follow what you have mentioned above. first paragraph with the last line having the thesis statement. 2nd and 3rd having why i agree and the 4th is about the against points. but here in 4th paragraph i can just go totally against the points i mentioned in 2nd and 3rd right? i do not have to put arguments against my opinions which can be given/asked by any individual that should be encountered with a much bigger advantage in support of my opinion?

2. if the essay is about to do you agree or disagree with the view, then i can follow what u have mentioned above.

- i hope u understand what m trying to say.. sorry if i confuse u.. once again thanks for the proper structure..
- i simply love the quote you posted on my profile and also on other profiles... those quotes are encouraging... thanks !
OP Geenesh 21 / 29  
Jun 29, 2011   #6
and if you dont mind, can you give some suggestions on how to begin with the first paragraph? i always spend most of my time tinkng what to write in the first paragraph.. is ther any guidelines that i cn follow?
ajit88rai 22 / 186  
Jun 29, 2011   #7
Hello Sangeetha,
well the question u asked is very right... and if m understanding ur query correctly then in IELTS or any essay- the fourth para of the above structure should have small arguments against ur opinion.

NOTE-do not mention a very strong argument against ur opinion for which u dont have a good argument to counter... i know this sounds tricky-i also had the same problems but if u wanna really clear ur thought-just read the latest essays i posted n pay attention to the fourth para specifically... i used tomention a slight disadvantage but i used to counter it with a bigger advantage... if u need more help- u can email me too at ajit88rai@gmail.com

i hope i satisfied ur query

QUOTE FOR U:
"KNOWLEDGE SPEAKS ,BUT WISDOM LISTENS"
-Jimi Hendrix
OP Geenesh 21 / 29  
Jun 29, 2011   #8
thank you.. by the way, wher can i read your essay?
ajit88rai 22 / 186  
Jun 29, 2011   #9
Click on my name ajit88rai --- a new page will open- there u cn see the latest threads posted by me... its on my profile
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jun 30, 2011   #10
According to a recent study, the more time people use the internet, the less time they spend with real human beings.

Whenever you say something like this, you have to cite the study. I mean, sometimes you are not REQUIRED to cite it, but you should require yourself to cite it. Otherwise, some of the strength leaks out of your writing. :-)

This is such a great thread!! Lots of progress is shown here...


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