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"track and cross country" - another fsu Vires, Artes, Mores essay



thebluehippo 2 / 3  
Oct 7, 2009   #1
the prompt is For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

dont hesitate in giving any advice thanks in advance

When reflecting on the past four years of highschool and thinking of all the things I have done, it is hard to pinpoint the single most important event or attribute that has shaped me in my high school career. It seems like I have done so much in four years that I have had a taste of everything on my plate and love all of it but cant finish it all without getting an upset stomach. Although I have done a lot I can say that everything I chose to do or not do was all for the better and I would do it all over again if I had the chance.

When thinking about my physical achievements, the first thing that comes to mind is track and cross country. Both of these took all my energy everyday afterschool to endure the pain of long distance running and the extreme complication and monotonous repetition of pole vaulting. First pole-vaulting had to be the most difficult. I took the combined efforts of my mind to know where my body was relative to its surroundings and body to physically run jump and lift my self over the bar. Then when it came to cross country I had to give every single ounce of effort and determination I had to even finish the practice. By running cross-country I found out what my true physical limits were and how to even succeed those. I personally believe these two sports showed me my true "vires" even if I wasn't the best in the world at them I learned that the only goals that matter are my own.

When it comes to the arts, my dearest passions are in the musical arts. I can sit around all day listening to music whether it is classical, hip-hop, rock, and so on. This is the main reason I joined the marching band. I just love the wailing trumpets, the down-beats of the bass drum, the ratatat of the snares. It all just blends perfectly every Friday night at half time. It may only last for ten minutes but merely participating in the marching symphony is the best feeling of oneness that can be achieved in a high-school. The simple metaphor of music is the most beautiful thing I can imagine. Like everything we have or ever will see, every song must begin and end like all life on earth. It's the stuff in-between that makes it truly beautiful and emotional. So to me every song is a lifetime of emotion waiting to be played. This is why I absolutely love playing in band. So I feel "artes" is unraveled in my participation in the lifetimes I play out on the marching field.

In its entirety band and track where the most influencing activities I participated in. They helped me realize who I am and could be. Track made me realize that it really isn't what I do in my life time that is important, it is how I do it and the attitude I do it with that will make me happy. Band on the other hand, put change my mind set from "it's all about me" to the factthat we are all a part of the whole weather we are doing our part or not we all suffer the consequences and reap the benefits of each other's actions whether we like it or not. Hopefully these life changing experiences will help me become an integral part at fsu in the near future.

EF_Sean 6 / 3459  
Oct 7, 2009   #2
When reflecting on the past four years of highschool and thinking of all the things I have done, it is hard to pinpoint the single most important event or attribute that has shaped me in my high school career.

I don't care. Pick something and start talking about it instead of opening with this.

t seems like I have done so much in four years that I have had a taste of everything on my plate and love all of it but cant finish it all without getting an upset stomach.

Great. So you're a dilettante who lacks the patience and decisiveness necessary to be successful in a single field of intense study? Why would you say this about yourself in an admissions essay?

Although I have done a lot I can say that everything I chose to do or not do was all for the better and I would do it all over again if I had the chance.

And this has to do with the prompt, how, exactly?

I personally believe these two sports showed me my true "vires" even if I wasn't the best in the world at them I learned that the only goals that matter are my own.

Your body paragraphs are much better than your introduction. Still, you should avoid ending on a negative note, as you do in this sentence. Revise your essay with a view to getting rid of anything that could possibly be taken as casting you in a negative light, and your essay will be much stronger.


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