I'm 15 years old; neither parent completed or finished college and I'm requesting a scholarship for an ACT Academy prep course being offered at local college. I need to write a brief description of my academic goals and explain why I'd like to attend the academy.
Obviously, I don't know where to start but would love all the help I can get to take advantage of this incredible opportunity that I can benefit from.
I am a sophomore, I have a 3.92 grade point average. I'm currently enrolled in all Advance Placement courses for next year (junior year).
I'm involved in:
Future Business Leaders of America
Student Council
Spanish Honor Society
National Honor Society
South Dakota Outstanding National History Award Recipient
Stock Market
Girl Scout Member
I do community service locally through my Catholic church.
Please HELP!!!
Tina Marie
All I can say is wow, you are off to a great start. You seem to be very driven, I think you have pretty much answered yourself on how to get started. You have done so many great things just be honest and talk about all the great things you seem to be involved in and I think you will do awesome.
I just don't know what format to use. It's crucial I understand and meet the requirements. It's my only way to get into this academy without burdening my parents. They just don't have the $545 for me, and I seem to have lost my confidence. But, I'm going to take your advice and try my hardest. If you think of something let me know. My due date is approaching fast.
TM
Well, you're articulate for 15. However, posting your accomplishments (here) is a sign to me that you're lacking in confidence/needing assurance. Try addressing the person/people who will be reading your entry in a straightforward manner. Then, post your draft and receive feedback.
My name is TMG and I'm currently enrolled at Dakota Valley High in ----- as a sophomore and plan to determine and declare a major by the fall of 2012.
My academic goals and strategies necessary to accomplish these objectives are:
To maintain the highest grade point average, while continuing to take rigorous Advanced Placement courses offered through graduation in preparation for college.
To gain as much experience and knowledge through the organizations I am currently involved in at school and locally.
To continue to pursue academic excellence and set ambitious goals essential for future career aspirations beyond high school.
I wish to attend the ACT Academy to help prepare for the ACT and to gain insight about college admissions, academics and experience campus life. I'd like to improve my test-taking skill and learn strategies that might help me test better. I strongly believe I have the ability to benefit from this experience and be better prepared to face any challenges life has to offer.
Thank you in advance,
TMG
*as a sophomore. I plan to determine and declare a major by the fall of 2012.
neither parent completed or finished college
This is not relevant. Be careful not to make your parents feel like you judge them or compare yourself to them. Doing a degree program is not like winning a race or anything, it's just one of the moves you can make in life. Oftentimes, the people with the most wisdom have not completed a degree.
What is this ACT academy? Do they help prepare for the SAT too?
I think you are doing very well. The thing to do is come up with a memorable theme for the essay. Why do this kind of program? Because you know that your time is best spent enhancing your ability. You need to maximize your preparedness because you are so hell bent on achieving success in the field you choose... you need to have as many options open to you as possible, because what you do is who you are, and you want to find meaning through expertise and scholarship.
paragraph 1: introduce theme ... body paragraphs give examples... conclusion paragraph reaffirms theme.
:-)
My apologies for not explaining the ACT Academy Program being offered. I was in such a rush to get started on this project, due to a AP Chemistry and APUSH exam in my life and not to mention - my adviser just became aware of it. I posted this during lunch while still at school and it's due in 2 days. UGH! SO, worried now! :(
I was not, by any means, trying to judge my parents. My parents are the most important and influential people in my life. They are 100% responsible for who I am and what I've accomplished. THEY...are the individuals who know I'm capable of anything and have lead me to believe in who I am; and for that- I'm grateful!
The ACT Academy is a program being offered at a local university this summer, offering a five day stay to prepare for the ACT and answer questions about admissions, academics, and the ability to experience campus life. Applications are due April 15th and it's predominately being offered to potential first-generation college students. All meals, housing and supplies are being provided.
I just don't know what format to use. It's crucial I understand and meet the requirements. It's my only way to get into this "free" academy without burdening my parents. They just don't have the $545 for me to take a course at the local community college and pay for the training.
TMG
Applications are due April 15th and it's predominately being offered to potential first-generation college students.
oh yeah, see, that is what the thing is all about, so there was no reason for me to get all over your case about talking about if your parents graduated. Don't mind me! Sometimes I rant senselessly.
Also, when I said it was not relevant, I was wrong! Obviously it is relevant!
Well, I still stand by my original suggestion: write it in a way that shows you are on a mission to do specific things in life. Let the reader feel inspired.
:-)
Sorry so late. I've had tons of work and studying to do. But, I took your advice and here it goes!!!! Thanks again. Please be harsh- I take criticism as well. :)
My name is TMG; I'm 15 years old and currently enrolled at ****** **** ****** in ********, ** as a sophomore. I expect to graduate and determine and declare a major by the end of spring 2012.
My academic goal in high school is to maintain the highest grade point average possible. My grade point average as of today is a 3.92, which reflects that my education is my highest priority. I plan to continue to participate in as many rigorous Advanced Placement courses offered through graduation in preparation for college and demonstrate the ability to make appropriate choices that are right for me.
I plan to continue to utilize leadership skills I've developed over the years and gain as much experience and knowledge through the organizations I have either participated in or currently involved with. Organizations I've benefited from include: ****** Cheer (09-11), ***** Dance Captain (08-09), Central Dance Team (07-08), Secretary of FBLA (09-10), Vice-President of FBLA (08-09), Sophomore Council (09-10), STUCO Secretary (08-09), Spanish Honor Society (09-10),
National Honor Society (09-10), Member of NJHS (08-09), Stock Market Club (2010), Junior Leadership Representative (08-09), Girl Scouts Member (99 to present) and the Catholic Youth Organization at Saint Joseph's Church in ******. This in turn, has helped strengthen my faith and allowed me to do over 200 hours of community service to represent local Catholic teens in our area.
Therefore, allowing me to participate in the ACT Academy will help improve my test-taking skills and learn strategies that might help me test better. I strongly believe I have the ability to benefit from this experience and be better prepared to face challenges life has to offer, as well as, help continue the pursue of academic excellence and set ambitious goals essential for future career aspirations beyond my high school years. This opportunity can give me the insight to college admissions, academics and allow me to experience campus life.
Do you know that old grammar rule about not ending sentences with prepositions?
I plan to continue to utilize leadership skills I've developed over the years and gain as much experience and knowledge as possible through the organizations in which I have participated and those with which I am currently involved. with .
How about that? A little clunky, but properly constructed sentences sometimes are...
One good style rule I learned only recently is to follow "this" with a noun. It always is an improvement:
This set of experiences in turn has helped strengthen my faith and allowed enabled me to do over 200 hours of community service to represent local Catholic teens in our area.
I also got rid of in turn, because it was superfluous, and I changed allowed to enabled, because I think it is cool to use enabled when that is what you mean, instead of allowed... allowed is slightly different, though some people use it interchangeably with enabled.
Therefore, allowing me to participate in the ACT Academy will ...--- here, "allowed" is good because you hope they will allow you.
Therefore Allowing me to participate ...--- you are so smart, I know you will be good at critical thining when you study it. Critically think about word choice, like this one with therefore. You know what therefore means... so... you know why it does not belong in this sentence, I think.
Allowing me to participate in the ACT Academy will help improve my test-taking skills and learn strategies that might help me test better. achieve better outcomes. I strongly believe I have the ability to benefit from this experience and become better prepared to face challenges life has to offer, as well as, continue the pursuit of academic excellence, and set ambitious goals essential for future career aspirations beyond my high school years. This opportunity can give me the insight to college admissions and academics and allow me to experience campus life.
:-)
please check out essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page/
Hey TinaMarie! You are great!!! Don't be so formal. Don't afraid of BIG GUYS. We are people. Feel free. You are person with great potential and can do many things. Just believe in yourself. (545$ is not even a little problem for you)