I got an F in two subjects; Personal Essay/ personal or academic matters

Please describe, as application any personal or academic matters you feel may assist the admissions Committee in reviewing your application for admissions

Successfully, completing my undergraduate coursework for pharmacy school. During, that time I was faced with a situation that was going to dramatically affect my overall academic coursework. It was during my freshman year that I got an F in two of my classes that were very important to me I was devastated this was my first time ever receiving an F. The reason for this was mainly I was not fully prepared. During, the semester I was working full time supporting my family due to my father getting layoff from his job that he worked for 15 years I was under a tremendous stress and pressure I had a lot of responsibilities under my hands. But, I managed to recover and repeated the courses and received A's in both classes. This defiantly boosted my confidence and made me even work harder to achieve my goal of been a pharmacist. Not, only I have successfully completed my pre-pharmacy curriculum I also have gained a tremendous amount of experience working as a pharmacy technician with dedicated and motivated pharmacists. I know that I cannot change the past but I want to start my future in a pharmacy school that I'm dedicated to and I will do my best to use my work experience, and academic coursework that I have gained to benefit the Chicago State University College of Pharmacy.

I dont understand the first sentence, I see no need for a comma after the word, 'successfully" The same goes for the second sentence with the comma after 'during.' Try "i was devastated due to the fact that. this was my first.." "Working full time to support my family because my fath had been laid off from a job he had for over fifteen years." Dont use the word "a" before tremendous , its not a thing , but a feeling. "Throughout all of this I managed to recover and repeated.." You spelled 'definitely' wrong.. "I persevered and helped me achieve my goal of.." Get rid of the comma after not , pre-pharmacy curriculum, but.." "I know that i cannot change the past, but.." ""Start my future in an institution dedicated to the pharmaceutical field with experienced and motivated pharmacists." Get rid of the comma after experience. Good luck! (: please like this so i can post an essay. Thanks !(: