UCF admission; "I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich"

Dan Wilcox said it perfectly, " I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich." For me, there has been no greater influence in my life than my family. My family has into me values and attitudes that will lay the foundation to success. They are my support and my refuge. My family has been influential in developing my character into a good representation of both them and myself. My family has enriched me with Christian values and traditions that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. They have taught me to be confident in who I am as a person and to never forget who I am and where I come from. My family has engraved into me the tradition of family dinners. Dinner with my family creates a connection and strength within everyone while cultivating the emotional sides of the relationships. We live in a technological generation where our simplest whims are address through telecommunications; the need for family could not be greater. My family has taught me that failure is not fatal contrary to what the world tells you. My family has always encouraged me to do my best no matter what obstacles lie before me.

Credited to the influence of my family, I possess certain qualities that would greatly enable me to contribute to the University of Central Florida community. For one, I am very determined and I will not quit despite the odds; I will continue to persevere until the job gets done. Due to the character engraved in me by my family, I have a great amount of self-discipline, a quality much needed for to succeed. Aside from academic qualities, I am a very outgoing person. I enjoy meeting new people and being involved in a variety of activities such as clubs and sports.

Why have you written this essay? To tell the admissions officers that your family has influenced you? But they could already have guessed that. The majority of college applicants have supportive families. I'm assuming this is an "influence on your life" type prompt that you have to work with. Start over, choosing a more original influence to work with.