UCF Essay-Why I would like to attend.

This is for University of Central Florida. The prompt is, "Why did you choose to apply to UCF?"
Any suggestions/corrections are greatly appreciated. Too cheesy? Not enough information about the college? Thanks a million!

I've always been one of those people who are indecisive. When my mother asks, "What would you like for lunch?" My response always ends up being a shrug coupled with "I don't know." So naturally, when I began my college search process, my head was spinning. In-State or Out-of-State? Suburban or big city? What should I major in? The possibilities seemed endless.

One day, as I made my daily trek back from the mailbox, the glinting of gold on the corner of an off-white envelope caught my eye. As I opened the letter up, I discovered a whole new aspect to my college-seeking process. I learned more and more about the University of Central Florida as I researched, and began to find UCF climbing slowly up my list of colleges of interest. Many aspects are highly appealing. For one, UCF offers a large variety of majors, and is a school focused on Undergraduate studies, which is highly important for a first-generation college student like me. Academics aside, another aspect I am excitedly looking forward to is campus life. With over 350 clubs and organizations ranging from the Chinese American Student Association to Body of Animal Rights Campaigners (BARC), I know I will find a place to fit in. Moreover, price was one of the biggest concerns I had, but with the reassurance of UCF being ranked by both the Princeton Review and Kiplinger's Personal Finance magazine as "Best Value", I had no doubts that UCF was right for me.

So however indecisive I can be, there is one thing I know for sure: University of Central Florida is the school for me.

Any takers? It's short! haha.

Maybe more about the college, and how what they offer mesh with all of your interests.

Also, college choice is way more important than what you may have for lunch. I know why you said that, but make your lunch choice something more dramatic and life-changing, like college, and how you made a successful decision in that case. It draws everything together better, I think.

You could add how you like the location and such if you need more words

UCF-Why I would like to attend(Revised)

I've revised my UCF essay. Please read it over and tell me any suggestions?

Staring blankly at the page of questions, I can hear the rhythmic pounding of my heart clearly. This is often the situation I find myself in when choosing which question to approach on an essay test. Decisiveness is an attribute that I find myself lacking. So naturally, when I began my college search process, my head was spinning. The possibilities seemed endless.

After receiving information in the mail, I began to research my options. Throughout the process, UCF was climbing steadily up my college list. For one, UCF offers a large variety of majors, and is a focused on Undergraduate studies. It assures me to know that the school is focused on my education. Furthermore, UCF offers paid research positions to students and emerges students in their fields early on, ensuring that I can get the best opportunities possible.

Academics aside, another aspect I am excitedly looking forward to is campus life. I can see the level of involvement and excitement of students as they jump into the Reflection Pond for Spirit Splash, and I want to take part in that. Also, as a student in the IB program, diversity is a major interest of mine. After reviewing the student organizations at UCF, I know that I can get involved in not only my own culture, being a Chinese-American, but learn about others too. The beautiful and ever-expanding campus itself provides everything I need, including an 85,000 square-foot Recreation Center.

So, however indecisive I can be, I know one thing for sure; UCF is my opportunity.

Much better, Carrie, much better. That opening paragraph is now much more credible, and fits in exactly with your point. It helps to tie everything together. I am very pleased with your revision.

Thank you. I just sent my UCF App yesterday. This site is very, very helpful.