Hello everyone,
I'm looking for comments on grammar (specifically tense and sentence structure), overall content, and if it answers the prompt.
Thanks for reading! I appreciate it (:
Prompt #1:
Describe the world you came from-for example, your family, community or school-and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Simple tender loving care is all I need to reach my goals and dreams. By creating a separate, idealized world― away from reality, where only he and I can enter― my boyfriend alleviates my pain and weaknesses. His unconditional love and care has helped me reconcile with past experiences that have posed obstacles in my recent growth and achievements.
My boyfriend accomplished a great feat by repairing my fragile confidence. Over the years, I lost many friends. Losing all these important relationships took a toll on my confidence, because I believed no one would accept me for who I was. My pessimistic feelings continued to stunt the pursuit of my dreams, until I met my boyfriend in eighth grade. It was unbelievable on how we made a connection so quickly. Soon, I realized that when I looked into his eyes, I saw this pain― a similar pain that I felt after feeling betrayed and forgotten. This subtle similarity helped us bond and erase the pain all together with each other's presence alone. As we grew closer through laughs and commitments, our own world began to form; a world where we would remove the growing stress and pressure that would hinder our personal growth. We constantly motivate one another to not let our old insecurities stop our potential in achieving greatness. We see the beauty in each other by confirming positive qualities and finding every "flaw" appealing and beautiful. He expresses my beauty as "the beauty that shines within," and I keep his words close to my heart. From this love, my confidence continues to thrive. My assumptions of failure dissipate with every minute shared with him. Without anything to negate my journey towards success, I feel unstoppable; I set higher goals and dreams, knowing that I have nothing to lose. I am empowered by this blessing of love, because despite all my past and future failures, I will always have someone who is proud of me.
I'm looking for comments on grammar (specifically tense and sentence structure), overall content, and if it answers the prompt.
Thanks for reading! I appreciate it (:
Prompt #1:
Describe the world you came from-for example, your family, community or school-and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Simple tender loving care is all I need to reach my goals and dreams. By creating a separate, idealized world― away from reality, where only he and I can enter― my boyfriend alleviates my pain and weaknesses. His unconditional love and care has helped me reconcile with past experiences that have posed obstacles in my recent growth and achievements.
My boyfriend accomplished a great feat by repairing my fragile confidence. Over the years, I lost many friends. Losing all these important relationships took a toll on my confidence, because I believed no one would accept me for who I was. My pessimistic feelings continued to stunt the pursuit of my dreams, until I met my boyfriend in eighth grade. It was unbelievable on how we made a connection so quickly. Soon, I realized that when I looked into his eyes, I saw this pain― a similar pain that I felt after feeling betrayed and forgotten. This subtle similarity helped us bond and erase the pain all together with each other's presence alone. As we grew closer through laughs and commitments, our own world began to form; a world where we would remove the growing stress and pressure that would hinder our personal growth. We constantly motivate one another to not let our old insecurities stop our potential in achieving greatness. We see the beauty in each other by confirming positive qualities and finding every "flaw" appealing and beautiful. He expresses my beauty as "the beauty that shines within," and I keep his words close to my heart. From this love, my confidence continues to thrive. My assumptions of failure dissipate with every minute shared with him. Without anything to negate my journey towards success, I feel unstoppable; I set higher goals and dreams, knowing that I have nothing to lose. I am empowered by this blessing of love, because despite all my past and future failures, I will always have someone who is proud of me.
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