NYU is global, urban, inspired, smart, connected and bold. What can NYU offer you, and what can you offer NYU?
Please tell me where I should elaborate more or cut-down. Also, give me your honest opinion on how it sounds. I am sending it out tomorrow. Thank you. Appreciate it.
----
Debate is not merely arguments hurled at opposing sides. Understanding, learning and appreciation are at the heart of debate. In my experience as a debater, I have found that often neither side is better but have come to the realization that each perspective has rational justification. In the process, I have become more open-minded to issues I would previously squarely disagree with - immigration laws for instance. Previously a proponent of dismissal of illegal immigrants, the understanding I gained in debate led me to change my opinion - from unambiguous dismissal to better understanding the unique situations for every immigrant.
[...]
i'm just a common reader, but i would say that i don't see why you want to study Economics in here, while i was reading i thought that you wanted to major in diplomacy or political science, i think you should have more of an economic approach in your love for the world and everything around you. But that's just me in my humble opinion, i could be utterly wrong.
You got lost in building up your own image in the essay that you neglected to see that you failed to answer the prompt in the proper manner. Nowhere in the essay did I read any reference to NYU and what it has to offer you. You only hyped up your image as a student and not even in the sense of what you have to offer NYU in terms of academic and social participation. What you wrote falls more under the common prompt referring to your purpose or interest in the course that you are applying for admission to. It does not come anywhere near answering the "What does NYU have to offer you and what do you have to offer NYU?" prompt. You need to write a totally new response, one that better addresses the prompt requirements.
@Vangiespen, Understood. Thank you for being critical of the essay. I'll work on it
UPDATED. Over the wordcount by 25 words. Vangiespen, would appreciate your opinion on how it sounds now. Any advise as to where I may cut down?
---
NYU AD is where the world meets. Students from all parts of the world imaginable gather to study in a global institution nestled in the cultural and modern city of Abu Dhabi. The institution is representative of Abu Dhabi - it boasts of a unique cultural experience whilst maintaining a progressive outlook comparable to the modernity in Abu Dhabi. University is a preparation for the "real world", perhaps a taste of this "world" - something NYU AD is capable of presenting to me.
The internationalism found at NYU-AD presents a set of unique cultural experiences. From a strategic standpoint, I will know more about Australian, French, Chinese, Japanese, Nepalese culture among others ... all conveniently during my study; an experience very few institutions can offer. Should I wish to immerse myself in Chinese or French culture, the global network program offers me the chance to do just that. This cultural journey would expand my thinking, making me more open-minded which is important to me in my pursuit for continual personal growth.
Studying courses in "Pathways of Literature" or, "Structures of Thought" while majoring in Economics provides a focus for me whilst not ignoring my gnawing intellectual appetites in Philosophy or Literature.
As an Indian brought up in the UAE, my perspectives have been uniquely shaped by the traditionalism in India, the cultural aspects of UAE and progressive Western elements. With this unique perspective, I can therefore empathize with both conservatism and progressiveness. Being both a critical thinker and debater, I am quick to voice my opinion ... even in the face of an opposing majority. In class, I can promise to add flavor - by voicing my thoughts and adding to the discussion.
As a budding economist, efficiency and optimal allocation are issues dear to me. These concerns transcend national affairs and even enter the territory of personal time management. I strive to make the best use of the time given to me in the most efficient manner. Be it in debate or in music, I ensure I am fully engaged in the activity I am undertaking. Pushing the limits of my capability is also dear to me. I do so by undertaking in new challenges for instance, organizing an in-school debate competition. This ambition will show itself during my time at NYU with initiatives I might undertake in or in clubs I participate in.
The relationship I hope to have with NYU is a symbiotic one where I make the best of its facilities whilst ensuring I contribute to discussion, clubs and initiatives with my unique perspective.
This is definitely the kind of essay that best answers the prompt statement. I would like to request that you try to revise the first two paragraphs of your essay though. It sounds like a brochure from the university rather than your personal sentiments about what NYU - AD has to offer you in terms of its social landscape. Have you visited the university campus? It would help if you could tell the admissions officer a little about that experience and why you feel that NYU-AD has a number of things to offer you that other universities do not. By revising the first two paragraphs, you will see that you can immediately bring the word count down to the desired number.
Thank you, Vangiespen. I really appreciate all the feedback you've given me. I did shorten the first two paragraphs and I sent it out on the first.
Do You Need