I was thinking of using my essay to answer the provided question or to make up my own question. What do you think? I also showed this essay to my college counselor and my english teacher and they both said it was good. However, i just re-read it and i beg to differ. Please critique and give me suggestions. Thank you!
"The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." - Aristotle
The intellectual, social and cultural differences embraced by the University of Maryland are integral to the fabric of our community. The strength of the University is realized through the contributions of every member of our campus. We understand each individual is a result of his/her personal background and experiences. Describe the parts that add up to the sum of you.
My family life changed so often that I never had a permanent place I could call home. I grew up with a single mom who tried her hardest to be there for my brother and me, but in the end, my grandparents had to help raise us. Growing up, my grandfather drove us everywhere and made sure that we always ate breakfast. Every Friday night my entire family would get together and have a Sabbath meal with my cousins and grandparents. My loved ones made sure that we felt a part of a family and had a normal childhood; they also helped me understand that although my mom couldn't always be there for me, she still loved me.
All that changed when I was eight. My mom remarried, and my new stepfather ended up ruining my childhood. As time passed, we realized that he was an alcoholic with anger management problems. He would come home drunk screaming and abuse my brother. Things started to spiral out of control. Then my grandfather died, which took a heavy toll on me because he was my only fatherly figure. He helped raise me, and was a very important figure in my life. With him gone, I was stuck with my abusive stepfather.
One night, my stepfather's behavior got so bad that the cops came and incarcerated him. As a result, my mom sent my brother and me to another family, for our safety. My brother and I ended up moving in, and have been there ever since.
So now, I no longer have my grandfather, and I am no longer living with my mom. In my new home, I learned to deal with new issues. I was still forced to work hard and accomplish everything on my own, but now I had to move forward without my mom's support or presence. I had many responsibilities the average teen doesn't. I looked after my younger brother, prepared for college without any help, wrote and reviewed all my school work alone, got all my own rides, and attended school meetings alone. Despite all these challenges, I was still determined to succeed.
Although my childhood was unstable, it taught me vital lessons about self-motivation and independence. Every challenge has contributed to the parts that add up to the greater sum of me. I have watched and learned from the mistakes my mom and stepfather made. I learned the importance of being there for my future children, and how important it is to have a stable home. Now, whenever I'm in the face of opposition, I know I am able to accomplish anything I put my mind to. I won't let anyone or any situation prevent me from accomplishing my goals.
"The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." - Aristotle
The intellectual, social and cultural differences embraced by the University of Maryland are integral to the fabric of our community. The strength of the University is realized through the contributions of every member of our campus. We understand each individual is a result of his/her personal background and experiences. Describe the parts that add up to the sum of you.
A Home without a Home
My family life changed so often that I never had a permanent place I could call home. I grew up with a single mom who tried her hardest to be there for my brother and me, but in the end, my grandparents had to help raise us. Growing up, my grandfather drove us everywhere and made sure that we always ate breakfast. Every Friday night my entire family would get together and have a Sabbath meal with my cousins and grandparents. My loved ones made sure that we felt a part of a family and had a normal childhood; they also helped me understand that although my mom couldn't always be there for me, she still loved me.
All that changed when I was eight. My mom remarried, and my new stepfather ended up ruining my childhood. As time passed, we realized that he was an alcoholic with anger management problems. He would come home drunk screaming and abuse my brother. Things started to spiral out of control. Then my grandfather died, which took a heavy toll on me because he was my only fatherly figure. He helped raise me, and was a very important figure in my life. With him gone, I was stuck with my abusive stepfather.
One night, my stepfather's behavior got so bad that the cops came and incarcerated him. As a result, my mom sent my brother and me to another family, for our safety. My brother and I ended up moving in, and have been there ever since.
So now, I no longer have my grandfather, and I am no longer living with my mom. In my new home, I learned to deal with new issues. I was still forced to work hard and accomplish everything on my own, but now I had to move forward without my mom's support or presence. I had many responsibilities the average teen doesn't. I looked after my younger brother, prepared for college without any help, wrote and reviewed all my school work alone, got all my own rides, and attended school meetings alone. Despite all these challenges, I was still determined to succeed.
Although my childhood was unstable, it taught me vital lessons about self-motivation and independence. Every challenge has contributed to the parts that add up to the greater sum of me. I have watched and learned from the mistakes my mom and stepfather made. I learned the importance of being there for my future children, and how important it is to have a stable home. Now, whenever I'm in the face of opposition, I know I am able to accomplish anything I put my mind to. I won't let anyone or any situation prevent me from accomplishing my goals.
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