Original Prompt: What matters to you and Why?
My Essay:
The urge to succeed in ingenious expeditions propels the heart beating inside this 137 pound body. From the beginning of my intellectual development, I have always adopted wayward approaches to problem solving.
I was seven when my parents had bought the Mechanix-4 engineering toy set for my birthday. A step by step manual accompanied the kit, but my father had intentionally removed it. [(Transition required)] He asked me to construct a rudimentary three-wheel car using the toy set. I was confused; all I knew about cars was that they had four wheels. Intrigued by the challenge, I decided to experiment with various designs. The trails often ended in dismay as failure seemed to befriend my every other conception. The eureka moment arrived when I reversed the alignment of wheels: instead of two wheels in the front, I constructed a car with two in the back. The car wobbled at first, but with several improvements it finally began to glide smoothly along the surface. My Dad checked the manual to find a similar design as mine, but there were no three-wheel cars in it. My genius had triumphed with perseverance and this incident continues to inspire me even today.
The urge is not only limited to my engineering fabrications. Whenever I solve a complex calculus problem without receiving any aid or when I devise hypothetical models of physical systems that are theoretically plausible, the joy that accompanies the achievement overwhelms my conscience and infuses a new energy within me.
he satisfaction enthralls me when those long hours of desperation and hard work receive recognition and appreciation. If it's something of my own creation, something that has never been conceived before, something that is greeted with general disdains and suspicion, all of my energies congregate to overcome the intellectual obstacle. College will provide me with new challenges. new critics and new visions.
This is the first draft. I need harsh help.
Thank you so much in advance! :))
My Essay:
The urge to succeed in ingenious expeditions propels the heart beating inside this 137 pound body. From the beginning of my intellectual development, I have always adopted wayward approaches to problem solving.
I was seven when my parents had bought the Mechanix-4 engineering toy set for my birthday. A step by step manual accompanied the kit, but my father had intentionally removed it. [(Transition required)] He asked me to construct a rudimentary three-wheel car using the toy set. I was confused; all I knew about cars was that they had four wheels. Intrigued by the challenge, I decided to experiment with various designs. The trails often ended in dismay as failure seemed to befriend my every other conception. The eureka moment arrived when I reversed the alignment of wheels: instead of two wheels in the front, I constructed a car with two in the back. The car wobbled at first, but with several improvements it finally began to glide smoothly along the surface. My Dad checked the manual to find a similar design as mine, but there were no three-wheel cars in it. My genius had triumphed with perseverance and this incident continues to inspire me even today.
The urge is not only limited to my engineering fabrications. Whenever I solve a complex calculus problem without receiving any aid or when I devise hypothetical models of physical systems that are theoretically plausible, the joy that accompanies the achievement overwhelms my conscience and infuses a new energy within me.
he satisfaction enthralls me when those long hours of desperation and hard work receive recognition and appreciation. If it's something of my own creation, something that has never been conceived before, something that is greeted with general disdains and suspicion, all of my energies congregate to overcome the intellectual obstacle. College will provide me with new challenges. new critics and new visions.
This is the first draft. I need harsh help.
Thank you so much in advance! :))