The vast array of research opportunities and many other things that makes Hamilton special for me

While the primary criteria for admission to Hamilton are academic achievement, intellectual promise and community engagement, Hamilton also seeks to admit candidates who are a good fit with the programs and experiences offered by the College. Please take this opportunity to tell us about your interest in Hamilton and, particularly, why you believe it is a place where you can thrive. Be open. Be honest. Be brief. (250 word maximum)

Extraordinaire collage

One of the best aspects of college life is diversity. Diversity and branching in education, community, and opinions is what completely educates the whole person and broadens the vision of an individual. Finding the college with liberal and more inclusive education is what introduced me to Hamilton college, a small liberal arts college in upstate new york with amazing people to meet.The personalized academic experience and the flexibility to course selection enthralled me. With every picture I scrolled, my desire to attend peaked. With a collaborative and close-knit community I certainly knew that Hamilton was the perfect place to be.

Walking uphill to get to class, vast array of research opportunities, and stargazing at the litchfield observatory are one of the many things that makes Hamilton special for me. The rigorous and intensive core curriculum induces a strong sense of love for learning and writing courses will probably hone my writing abilities. At the computer science department I see myself learning the dynamics of computer science under the supervision of professor Mark Bailey. The multi culture and diversity at Hamilton is perfectly suited for sharing my perspective and helping to improve my skills; through introspection and collaboration.

How to improve this essay. I know the ending is weak but how can I improve it. All sorts of help welcomed

@abdulahok
I would like to link these interests with personal experience.

For example, you mentioned the computer science department, you can explain more about it. You want to major in CS? or you are interested in CS?

@abdulahok

"Finding the college with liberal and more inclusive education is what introduced me to Hamilton college, a small liberal arts college in upstate new york with amazing people to meet.The" It feels like your just telling them something they already know. The prompt says to be breif so maybe reword it like "During my search for a more inclusive liberal arts... I found Hamilton. Hamilton's ..."

Also the cs section seems like fluff unless you want to expand on it more.

Hi Abdullah, I have read your essay but I can't tell how Hamilton is a place you can thrive.

You began with writing about diversity (which I guess was the first thing that appealed to you when you first looked at Hamilton). You can relate how teaming up and working with people from diverse backgrounds and interests will give you a global perspective. And of course diverse extracurriculars which I suppose will give you an opportunity to learn about other cultures, the kind of interests others are interested in which might interest you to explore and so forth.

I suppose you are applying to study computer science? So writing about what made their computer science program distinctive to you and how that program will help you to thrive.

Abdullah, the response that you wrote does not fit the prompt. What you have developed is more of a generalized statement than a statement of what interests you in attending Hamilton. The reviewer needs you to deliver information that goes way beyond the simple clicks on a web page. He needs you to deliver information about Hamilton that struck you as intriguing, interesting, or a perfect fit for your own interests and commitment to a college education. While you obviously got your information from the regular sources, hence the lack of truly personal connection, you can actually turn the essay around and make it more personal in slant.

In order to do that, you have to go back and do some research about the academic aspect of the university. Since the university is a liberal arts college, you should have the discussion room to fully develop some targeted aspect of your discussion. For example, consider your chosen major. Why do you think that pursuing that degree at Hamilton makes perfect sense? Consider the academic offerings of the university, would the question of why you were attracted by answered by the academic support system that the university offers? Or, you can think outside the box and deliver a response that seems curious in discussion Maybe there is something quirky or unique about the university that fits with your personality? Find some pretty personal yet specific reason that you would be attracted to the university. Yes, you will have to write a totally new essay in order to better address the prompt.