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Wake-up is at 8 not 5:45, all because of the school - issue of importance



VampireAngel 5 / 7  
Nov 13, 2010   #1
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Change in School Times

As an aspiring Eagle Scout, the issue that I would like to discuss is associated with the change in start time for schools in McKinney Independent School District. My concern about the earlier start time for school is that it is way too early for high school students to start.

Deborah Brauser, writer for Medscape Today, states that "...optimal sleep amounts remain about 9 to 9ź hours per night. On a practical level, this means that the average adolescent has difficulty falling asleep before 11 pm, and the ideal wake time is around 8 am"(Brauser). The only students that have a chance of not going to school at 7:30 AM are seniors and that's because they have enough credits to have a later start time.

Too few high school students get the amount of sleep they need. Lynne Lamberg, writer for Medscape Today, states, "Only about 20 percent of high school students get the recommended duration of sleep on school nights, but an experiment to shift the opening bell at one school a half-hour later produced impressive changes in students' sleep patterns and mood"(Lamberg). What she means is that 1/5 of the high school students are fully rested and refreshed each day they go to school and the other 4/5 of high school students drag themselves all through-out the day or fall asleep when they are supposed to be working.

"Even without the pressure of biological changes, if we combine an early school starting time--say 7:30 am, which, with a modest commute, makes 6:15 am a viable rising time--with our knowledge that optimal sleep need is 9 1/4 hours, we are asking that 16-year olds go to bed at 9 pm. Rare is a teenager that will keep such a schedule. School work, sports practices, clubs, volunteer work, and paid employment take precedence. When biological changes are factored in, the ability even to have merely 'adequate' sleep is lost," (Carskadon). I myself, at times, have been challenged to stay awake during class even though I had gone to sleep at 9:00 PM.

One other personal problem that I have with this time change is that I was actually trying to maintain a High School-Elementary School chess club. This is a mutual benefit club where McKinney North High school chess club students would get Green cord hours for teaching Vega elementary kids how to play chess Monday mornings before school. I successfully started one last school semester and now some kids might not ever discover their love for chess because of the time change and lack of opportunity.


Works Cited

Brauser, Deborah; Medscape Today, "Delayed School Start Times May Improve Adolescent Behaviors, Health";
Lamberg, Lynne; Psychiatric News, "Later High School Start Times May Benefit Teens' Mental Health";
Carskadon, Mary A., PhD; "Research on School Start Times and Biology";

ExplodingDonuts 1 / 11  
Nov 13, 2010   #2
I don't think you need to have a works cited page...it's really unnecessary since this isn't a formal paper...

Overall, I think the technical stuff kinda hurts because it is a bit boring, especially if you have 2 sentence quotes. Try breaking it down more or paraphrasing. Remember, this is your personal essay, not a formal complaint that needs to be backed by scientific evidence. I think you need to focus on your club more or use more vivid specific examples because honestly the impression I'm getting is definitely more of a person who is complaining rather than someone who has overcome or dealt with something which I think would have given a stronger impression of you. You're trying to put your best foot forward for these colleges :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 23, 2010   #3
I think the technical stuff kinda hurts because it is a bit boring, especially if you have 2 sentence quotes.

I'm really impressed with your work lately explodingdonut, thanks for making essayforum a better place!

essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page/

I myself, a At times, I have been challenged to stay awake during class even though I had gone to sleep at 9:00 PM.

I think this ssay is weakened by the unrealistic ideal of 9.25 hours of sleep,,,does anyone really sleep that much?

Hmmm... Well, I do find the essay interesting... but the premise is all about letting kids sleep longer. It does not reflect your diligence as a student. :-)


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