Hi every one my name is Motasem from Sudan. I am applying to WCMC-Q and i need your help , any help . i'm not completely fluent at English so any help any help before the end of this month would be glady appreciated, I just need some criticism on this Essay because English is my second Language.
thank you,
Have you ever wondered how you would success if you had to be alone with your thoughts? How would you stand up for them? How would you fight against yourself and the community to achieve them? What would you do if nobody believed in you?
Throughout middle school and high school, I got many chances to improve my life, but I have come to realize that I need to play an important role in my life. I began to sense that it was not fair that other students weren't given any of these chances. This motivated me to start a project helping students to improve their life. The goal of this project is to give students the assistance, especially if they came from the suburbs. Later, I spoke to the supervisor of activity, He tell me that he can't assist my idea, because of the little government funds. Indeed, I felt I cannot make a difference. I knew the students who trust me depend on my dedication. Hence I used all my sources such as internet, books and friends to get information about how to build an organization. Also, I started to learn the art of public speak; to own the power of convincing, and developed my personal style. Later, I spoke to friends, teachers, supervisors and Parents deliver my idea. I continued my efforts with all parents. In fact, the struggle was not brief, but these efforts improved my senses of perseverance and dedication. I think if I hadn't been faced with this challenge, I would have never developed the enthusiasm to excel my communication skills.I was trying hard; so, I used letters and meetings with parents and my schoolmates. Moreover, I organized some campaign funds. Afterward, the result was great; our School made a board for fathers to support school activities, they assist my project, and then it turns into a school body. . Now, I think through this experience, I have come to realize that one of the best ways to make people happy is medicine by adding first aid activity to the school's activity list. Really it helps me and many students so I am very proud
Indeed this experiments has teached me to get the lesson from my life and the value of making bad decisions. It help me to overcome many obstacles in my life.Later, After 2 years studying engineering , I reached the conviction that money is not everything , I felt i need to follow my dream because the School of Life has teached me to do so. I could be an engineer, but I was confident I would not be positive addition to this community? I believe if I stay true to my dreams I can reach them; I might spend my whole life chasing them, until I could achieve them. I want only to pursue a career in medicine; so, during this period I have enchaned my desire to study scence by attendeding many lectures in science .it was my deep desire to study such material.I have compassion to study human body and the world of the sciences at a deeper level.
Indeed through my previous college, I deliberately tested my desire to study medicine: it will help me to contribute to my society while I do something that I love such as my research interests. Also, I want to be in the practical field of laboratory to discover cures for diseases. Now, I think I want to wake up after ten years early each day, even I may not have a lot of money, but I will run to the hospital just to speak my patients. I want to be a part of their live. On the other hand, I am sure my compassion and caring are one of the reasons that lead me to apply the medicine. . I do not want to say that helping people was the only reason: It's certainly very important. I need to stay over patients, to see the joy in their eyes, and when I help them; their smiles will be my best present. I will use my personality, communication, and social skills for them.
I want to learn every day, practice medicine every minute and to live every second with the patients. I have lived two years for this moment, making the dream of studying medicine at Cornell, especially as it provides the strongest programs in the Middle East. However, in the life and in the hospital, I want to be the best in my field.
Motasem Othman
This is pretty great! I think though, that as it's titled 'essay about dreams', you should say close to the beginning something like 'my dream is to study medicine'. Then at the end, say something about how studying at Cornell would go a long way in helping your dream become a reality. Good luck with school!
