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"Wild goose father"; TUFTS- "Let your life speak"



zowzow 10 / 174  
Dec 30, 2008   #1
time for me to ask for some help again! lol

Why Tufts?
Internet can only be of limited help when searching for my dream university in a country I have never visited, yet it convinced me that Tufts was the place. Tufts has one of the strongest International Relations department, my choice of major. I want to broaden my knowledge and explore core areas that may ultimately decide my future. Its 60+ core faculty from 16 departments in IR will allow me to explore my various interests. I believe Tufts' diverse opportunities will open many doors for me.

"Let your life speak" Describe the environment in which you were raised and how it influenced the person you are today.

In Korea they call it the "wild goose father," referring to fathers who send their children and wife to English speaking countries for their education while he remains in Korea to work. This pattern is a commonly occurring phenomenon in Korea, fuelled by their desire for better education, no matter the cost. Unlike many families who purposefully undertake this physically and emotionally challenging separation, ours was of coincidence. Our migration to Australia as a whole family ended abruptly when my father's business failed only after a year. Unable to find a proper job, he went back to Korea to find work, so we became a "wild goose family"

Though challenging and unexpected at first, I had gotten used to taking care of my brother and helping out my mother. I thought I had done to adapt well to Australian culture and speak the language well enough and thus have fulfilled my purpose.

But it was only recently that I thought about my parents and their sacrifices. I never thought about the lonely road my father walked in Korea, living alone working all day to provide for his children for years. I never considered the challeng path my mother took, looking after her two children in a foreign country, while being separated from her soul mate.

While this lifestyle of "wild goose family" is not ideal, it did make me become a strong individual; a mature person when facing a challenge, can say to himself "I've had worse, this is nothing." But most of all, now serves as my motivation. The sacrifices my parents made for me will not be forgotten and everything I do, I will do my best to make them proud, to make their sacrifices worth while.

"Self-identity and personal expression take many forms. Use the richness of your identity to give us insight: Who are you?"

The laughter died. The room became silent. I realized that I had just made the biggest and the most damaging mistake in my whole life in front of 300 people. Oh, I apologize. Let me explain. My motto is "get amongst it!" It just tells who I am.

...

all of these obviously needs a lot of improving and the last two are a bit too long. I need to shorten it but don't know how to! the first one needs to improve the first and the last sentence any constructive feedback is helpful! thanks guys!

OP zowzow 10 / 174  
Dec 30, 2008   #2
hey thanks so much! I didn't expect this much of help! lol

yea need to look over the second essay. i just wrote that one up in the last hour prob shouldnt have put it up so early lol

wat about my why tufts one?

and yea i need to do the optional one too lol not so optional that one if you think about it

hopefully ill get in too! from your knowledge i can see that you'll be in already!

ps. about the word limit - i no its 2000 letters but i just didnt want to fill it all up. I would like it to be close to the 200 word limit at least instead of 300 im close to now! lol
alicimoo 3 / 19  
Dec 30, 2008   #3
THE Internet can only be of limited help when searching for my dream university in a country I have never visited, yet it convinced me that Tufts IS the place FOR ME. AS A ... MAJOR, Tufts' strong International Relations department WILL ... (say something like... "provide me with the great education to...something"). I want to broaden my knowledge and explore core areas that may ultimately decide my future (This does nothing for you since you don't connect it to why Tufts). WITH Its 60+ core faculty in IR, TUFTS WILL allow me to explore my various interests (what does the # of faculty members and departments have to do with you being able to explore your interest?). I believe Tufts' diverse opportunities will open many doors for me.

I did this in Word because I was trying to keep track of the # of characters, so I didn't show what I deleted, but (this is going to be very blunt) you don't say much about why Tufts aside from the International Relations department. You have to explain WHY the aspects of Tufts benefits you (like, the # of faculty members has nothing to do with you being able to explore your interests. Sorry I know this is harsh, but you need to convey your great interest in Tufts. And I know this is hard because Tufts gives you so little space. =/ Good luck!


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