Can anyone please review my essay for me? This is a common app essay. Thanks!
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you
I looked back for the last time before walking into the gate of the airport. My feeling at that moment was ambiguous. A part of me was sacred and did not know what I was going to face in the year that lies ahead. However, another part of me commanded my legs to move on. I was about to board a jumbo jet on its way to the United States. I knew it was going to be one of the most wonderful years of my life.
I was right, my sophomore year as a foreign exchange student in the United States was adventurous, memorable, and life-changing. Many people laughed at me because I was assigned to a host family in Brandon, Mississippi. That wasn't a misfortune for me, however. I felt lucky because I had a chance others did not. I got to explore another side of America, the countryside. I enrolled in a public high school in that area. Half of the students were Caucasian, half were African American, and no doubt I was the only Thai present. It was nothing like my school back home. There, it was normal for pregnant students to come to school and every once in a while, random students will be pulled out of class for a drug test. Despite the issues, I witnessed strong school spirit among the students.
Living abroad, alone, at the age of fifteen was not easy. My first host family was not a pleasant one and I grew more homesick as the days passed. Therefore during the interim my relocation, I tried to avoid staying at home. Luckily, I befriended a Vietnamese girl whose family owns a restaurant in the downtown area. Whenever I was free, I would go to work at the restaurant. I earned money for the first time in my life and learned some Vietnamese too!
A year in America has taught me abundance. I broke away from my comfort zone and became more independent. Without my maids, I had to perform household chores on my own. By earning my own money, I realized the value of money and stopped squandering it. I also learned to adapt to different conditions and be more open-minded.
Looking back at my year in the United States, it's hard to believe what I have been through. Although it has been almost two years, all the memories are still vivid in my mind. Sometimes, I can still hear loud cheering of my friends during an American football game and the calling of the customers at the restaurants I worked at. The year might not have been perfect, but it was my best year so far. My experience in America had transformed me from a spoiled child to a young adult with a broader and more positive insight on the world.
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you
I looked back for the last time before walking into the gate of the airport. My feeling at that moment was ambiguous. A part of me was sacred and did not know what I was going to face in the year that lies ahead. However, another part of me commanded my legs to move on. I was about to board a jumbo jet on its way to the United States. I knew it was going to be one of the most wonderful years of my life.
I was right, my sophomore year as a foreign exchange student in the United States was adventurous, memorable, and life-changing. Many people laughed at me because I was assigned to a host family in Brandon, Mississippi. That wasn't a misfortune for me, however. I felt lucky because I had a chance others did not. I got to explore another side of America, the countryside. I enrolled in a public high school in that area. Half of the students were Caucasian, half were African American, and no doubt I was the only Thai present. It was nothing like my school back home. There, it was normal for pregnant students to come to school and every once in a while, random students will be pulled out of class for a drug test. Despite the issues, I witnessed strong school spirit among the students.
Living abroad, alone, at the age of fifteen was not easy. My first host family was not a pleasant one and I grew more homesick as the days passed. Therefore during the interim my relocation, I tried to avoid staying at home. Luckily, I befriended a Vietnamese girl whose family owns a restaurant in the downtown area. Whenever I was free, I would go to work at the restaurant. I earned money for the first time in my life and learned some Vietnamese too!
A year in America has taught me abundance. I broke away from my comfort zone and became more independent. Without my maids, I had to perform household chores on my own. By earning my own money, I realized the value of money and stopped squandering it. I also learned to adapt to different conditions and be more open-minded.
Looking back at my year in the United States, it's hard to believe what I have been through. Although it has been almost two years, all the memories are still vivid in my mind. Sometimes, I can still hear loud cheering of my friends during an American football game and the calling of the customers at the restaurants I worked at. The year might not have been perfect, but it was my best year so far. My experience in America had transformed me from a spoiled child to a young adult with a broader and more positive insight on the world.