Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Advanced technologies and idleness of parents. Having a Healthy Lifestyle in The Modern World



nuni11 33 / 30  
Jan 21, 2016   #1
SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT IN THE MODERN WORLD IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. OTHERS, HOWEVER, SAY THAT IT IS EASY FOR PEOPLE TO BE HEALTHY AND FIT IF THEY WANT TO BE. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

These days and ages, it is not easy to keep healthy way of life as the world is more developed. While others argue that a bad lifestyle of people is a result of sophisticated technology and the time spent by parents for their children, I utterly believe that keeping fitness is much easier if people want to change their habits.

A great number of people argue that as the technology developed, inhabitants tend to spend more time to stay in front of their belongings such as laptop, smartphone, or play station. An illustration for this, children who engaged in playstation spend their time, day and night, to complete the missions or quests from the game. As a result, teenagers tend to spend much more time in front of the screen than going to exercise. In addition, their parents have massive work to do and do not give much attention to their children so that they will eat unhealthy dishes more due to the fact that it is more simple to be prepared. It is thus clear that a healthy habit sometimes can be hard to achieved.

However, it does not mean that having healthy style of life cannot be achieved if people have a great desire to change their behavior. First and foremost, keeping body fitness can be afford by changing simple habits such as doing simple exercises like stretching or walking for couple minutes in the neighborhood which will give a lot of different results for their health. Also, in modern world, eating a balanced diet is easier as healthy restaurants and food can be found everywhere. In addition, parents can manage their time to care more about their children. Thus, having a healthy lifestyle can be afford if someone try to alter their lifestyle.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that while having a healthy way of life is influenced by the advanced technologies and idleness of parents, I believe that it can be acquired if someone switch their bad behaviors. The best solution for this will be parents spend more quality time for their children.

Riiskacha03 31 / 33  
Jan 21, 2016   #2
Hi Nuni, you have a well-developed writing and less of grammatical error. however, you forget to put comma in appropriate place, make your writing have less intonation in it.

In addition, their parents have massive work to do and do not give much attention to their children, so that they

First and foremost, keeping body fitness can be afford by changing simple habits such as doing simple exercises, like stretching or walking for couple minutes in the neighborhood which will give a lot of different results for their health.

people have a great desire to change their UNHEALTHY behavior.


Home / Writing Feedback / Advanced technologies and idleness of parents. Having a Healthy Lifestyle in The Modern World
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳