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Ielts writing task 2 - Essay about the advantage of children when they learning English



uchiha9000 1 / 1  
Jul 9, 2021   #1
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school

Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?



It is universally acknowledged that learning a second language is of paramount importance in our entire lives. Therefore, some professionals think that the adolescents studying at primary school should start learning a language different from their mother language is better than the ones studying at secondary school. In this essay, I advocate that the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks and, I am going to give some evidence to prove my perspective clearly.

On the one hand, it is understandable that learning a different language plays a pivotal role in developing self-educated skills of young people. It is undeniable that children have a special affinity for animated cartoons on TV. In addition, the cartoons designed by directors from the US and UK where English is used as a national language. As a result, when English is taught for children at primary school, the adolescents can be into grasping what cartoon characters on foreign movies are talking about. After that, from my experience, I believe that children will improve their English skills gradually and frequently and become a master of English in the future.

In contrast, it is obvious that nations not using alphabet letters have to face with barriers while their citizens want to have access English. A clear example of this is residents from China, Japan, Korea where ideogram letters are used in public. Hence, when children at primary school have opportunity to start learning both ideogram and alphabet letters, they have not seldom felt confused. In my opinion, it is not good for developing progress of children and their multilingual skills. Teaching a English for adolescents from China or Japan is a effective way when the children study at secondary school.

In conclusion, learning a new language is a good idea for children at elementary education instead of secondary education. Learning a second language helps children brush up their self-educated skills to achieve career advancement in the future, however, it also drives Chinese or Japanese crazy when they must learn English.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Jul 10, 2021   #2
The essay is highly verbose at 333 words. Such a word count cannot be completed within 40 minutes. The writer is focusing on over extending the essay, without considering the need for a quick response and explanation, fully and properly written within 40 minutes in proper English. This problem is evident in the first paragraph where a personal opinion, unrelated to the task was first introduced, but no proper topic references in relation to the opinion of the writer was provided. This delivered an incomplete . response as it relates to the discussion paragraphs.

The discussion paragraphs do not correctly defend the writers opinion as it does not use the primary and secondary conditions provided in the original prompt properly. The writer is focusing on specific countries in relation to the discussion where a general country reference is required. There are irrelevant references made to cartoon shows and idiagrams. By the end of the essay, the writer had gotten so far off base with the discussion that it can only get a failing score in the end.
OP uchiha9000 1 / 1  
Jul 10, 2021   #3
thank you, Holt. Your comment let me know my weakness and I appreciate that. Have a good day.


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