Nowadays, with the development of computers, people have invented a lot of modern technologies. When the computer was born, people used it to make their work more efficient. However, besides various benefits, computers have caused unemployment and many other problems.
First of all, most handicraft villages are fading because of the mass production technology. The traditional manufacturing takes more time, needs more employees and the design is not varied. In industrial production, more and more computers work on behalf of humans, as it has high accuracy and productivity. Moreover, the army is also studying to create weapons controlled via computers, such as pilotless aircraft, radar, or rocket... people have explored the universe by satellite. So, the computer is very important, the more developed society, the more helpful computers are.
However, in my view, there are many problems. Initially, because computers do all so people should be unemployed. The companies apply computer technology, it oporates mạhines, checks products, and does all of the production stages, workers will be fired to decrease the costs. Also, the products of mass production are not featured and specific. Only the special meticulous man can create unique products. After that, another problem is health issues. People who use computers a lot may get a lot of different diseases, like myopia, backache, or loss of memory...
All in all, I think the computers bring for us many advantages, in the globalization era, without computers, people can not thrive and develop strongly. But, on the other hand, computers have affected many people, it raises too many questions to be answered. How we do to solve the problems caused by computer ?
Nowadays, with the development of computers, people have invented a lot of modern technologies(confusing sentence do you mean developing computers give easily access to people inventing more new technologies) .
When the computer was born,since the computer invented, people used it to make their work more efficient ( plural -> efficients) . However, besides various benefits,computers have caused unemployment and many other problems.(CONFUSING SENTENCE)
above are several mistakes in your wariting, it can be seen that you should revise your writing...
keep fight :)
Hi Tram, upon reviewing your essay, there is no doubt that you understand and know what the essay is asking you to write about, however, this did not seem to transpire very well in the essay. Reason for this observation is because, as I was reading the essay, I got confused with the sentences you associated in the essay and to give you a more elaborate explanation on that, please find a few corrections below;
- However, in my view, there are many problems. many problems? like what? though the subject is established already, it won't hurt if you take it into account in this part of the essay.
- Initially, because computers do all the things thatso people should and can do, therefore, they end up be unemployed.
- workers will beget fired
- to decreasewith the hopes of decreasing the costs of manpower .
- Also, themass produce products
- of mass production are not featured and specific to the customers liking .
- After that, aA nother problem is health issues. - People who use computers a lot may getacquire - or loss of memory...among others.
There you have it Tram, as you can see, with the corrections, the idea is now complete, there is a huge difference of the thought of the sentences, its clarity and its meaning is now more comprehensible.
hi qtraam ^,^
i have feedback for you and i hope it helps
>>> introduction (paraphrase your essay question not copy paste or just changing type of words :))))
>>>in your thesis statement please write clearly (what is many other problems you mean by)
Nowadays, with the development of computers, [...] used it to make their work more efficient . it is witnessed that advance technologies affected human working and routines today than bygone.However, besidesAlthough this invention brings some benefits for human activities, it will also give drawbacks(write thesis statement here) computers have caused unemployment andmany other problems.
All in all, I think the computers bring for us many advantagespositive impacts to human life , in the globalizationthis modern era, without computers, people can not thrive and develop strongly without cutting-edge technology like computer . But, ...
When the computer was born, people used it to make their work more efficient. After the invention of computer ,it was widely used for various purposes...??
..., computers have caused unemployment and many other problems too.
