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Advantages and disadvantages of having tourists and scientists travel to remote natural environment


hphuc123 4 / 10 4  
Jul 29, 2018   #1
Question: It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole.
What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


exploring isolated areas on Earth



Essay: It is our natural instinct that urges each and every one of us to go out and explore this intricate, yet beautiful planet. Alongside the rise of technological developments, travelling to some of the most isolated areas on Earth - namely the South Pole - has become a reality, for both scientists and many dedicated tourists. But similar to any previous cultivations, this development ought to hold many benefits and drawbacks of its own, which will be thoroughly discussed in this essay.

The first and foremost advantage of this development is the fact that many researchers can travel to remote areas and gain valueable data and artefacts. Therefore, they will directly contribute to mankind's previously limited knowledge of these areas. For instance, foreign scientists once vist the South coast of Vietnam to examine a deep and dangerous cave, in which they conducted many careful measurements. Another benefit of the aforementioned reality is the boost in economy for countries in occupation of these remote lands. Some of these countries are considered toddlers in the business of tourism, so this development will greatly stimulate many services for tourists, thereby improving the economy.

However, owing to the isolated locations of these natural areas, sometimes it can be incredibly gruesome and tiring to resolve any possible problems. For example, when a group of tourists or researchers get lost in a snow-capped mountain, the rescuers can have very limited view or navigation due to snow storms and very strong winds. Furthermore, conducting researches or erecting tourism departments means disturbing the natural habitats of many animals in these areas. An exemplifier is the polar bear, whose habitat has been penetrated recently. Many of today's species are on the verge of extinction, and this development can help to put them in indefinite rest.

In conclusion, it is undoubted that having groups of scientists or crowds of tourist pouring into an isolated natural environment has become a reality in the modern age. While this cultivation has its own stunning merits, there are also some disadvantages that require some considerations.

I know this essay is extremely long, but i thought it's acceptable on its own; i know i should limit my writing in the real test. I wrote this within the time allotment, so i had time to proofread, but i decided not to drop off any parts. Anyway, please give me feedback on this and a suggested band score, if possible.

smally01 9 / 34 14  
Jul 29, 2018   #2
Hi hphuc123, it is a big challenge for me to read through your essay, my english is bad so forgive me if your find I ask silly question...

... and gain valueable data and artefacts

Is there any correlation between acquiring valuable data and artefacts from the remote area and (direct) contribute to knowledge of that area? Do you mean whatever they gain/retrieve will be analysed / researched hence the workout will benefit to the public? I'm sorry I'm not good in imagination and I'm not sure imagination/wild guessing is required for reading an essay...

foreign scientists once vist the South coast of Vietnam to examine a deep and dangerous cave...

And then what? World peace after the measurements? Or that "will directly contribute to mankind's previously limited knowledge of these areas."

... the rescuers can have very limited view or navigation ...

I'm sorry but I guess you would like to tell the reader that the rescuers facing "incredibly gruesome and tiring to resolve any possible problems."

People say the aim of language is to communicate, I really wish I would have enough ability to communicate with you or understand your essay in one day...
sillyman2000 19 / 42 9  
Jul 29, 2018   #3
Hello fellow person. I've looked your essay and I'd like to say your writing is really charming and fascinating to read. Precise choices of vocabulary (gruesome, aforementioned, stimulate, thereby, and so on). I also appreciate the grammar structure you have used in the writing (on the verge of).

Basically you do not make any serious mistakes. I am just gonna cite out your minor ones:
"An exemplifier is the polar bear". Exemplifier is not a word. Do you mean "Polar bear is exemplified to the aforestatement"
"... are considered toddlers". I think the correction should be "considered to be"
If you have times, please check out my latest writing and analyse about it. My writing skills are not as decent as yours. I wish I could acquire your style. .
OP hphuc123 4 / 10 4  
Jul 30, 2018   #4
@smally01
I'm not sure if you're being somewhat sarcastic, but thanks for the help though :)
The data and artefacts collected will give scientists (and then the general public) about those areas because we used to have limited knowledge of them due to many inadequate technologies. This is indicated in the next sentence.

"foreign scientists once vist the South coast of Vietnam to examine a deep and dangerous cave..."
this is just an example of researchers coming to remote regions and "gain valuable data", and yes that information will add to mankind's knowledge of that particular cave :)

And about the rescuers, you are right! That's my example for a situation that "it can be incredibly gruesome and tiring..."

@sillyman2000
Thanks for helping! About the toddlers thing, i think that is a reduced clause of your correction so i think both of us are correct :)


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