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IELTS Task 2 : Is Advertisement informative or deceptive



m7mdbsheer1 1 / -  
Dec 19, 2016   #1
Some believe advertisement is useful and informative. Others think it is false and only helps to raise prices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different views about adverts. While some argue that advertisements are valuable, I believe that they are useless and only create demand for products.

One the one hand, there are several reasons why advertisements can be seen as helpful. The main reason is that commercials inform us of new commodities. Without adverts it would be difficult for people to know about cutting-edge, useful products on the market, and it also might be challenging for companies to tell customers about their products. Another key benefit is that advertising creates massive job opportunities. In other words, advertising is a creative industry that employs many people. A final point to consider is that advertising is considered to be a form of modern art.

In spite of the above arguments, I agree with those who believe that adverts are false and useless. Firstly, advertising manipulates people in a negative way. In other words, it aims to persuade people that buying a product will make them happier. Secondly, children can easily be attracted by advertisements. As a result, they put pressure on their parents to buy them things that are very expensive, useless or even harmful. Finally, adverts market unhealthy and dangerous products in an attractive way. Energy drinks, for example, are advertised as being able to boost your energy and make you feel alert, while the reality is that their side effects are downright damaging.

In conclusion, it seems to me that advertisements are more likely to be deceptive rather than informative.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Dec 19, 2016   #2
Mohammed, I am of the opinion that you are very well prepared to take the IELTS at this point. Why do I say that? I base that comment on the fact that, even with the minimal grammatical errors in your current essay, you have managed to present an overall ability in all 4 basis for the scores to land only the second 7 score that I have ever given to an IELTS reviewer at this forum. In all honesty, you can score a 7 in each aspect of the scoring rubic if you continue to present such impressive essays. I have only one criticism of your current essay though. You have a tendency to use English slang in a formal essay set up. Always use the full term for a word, do not use the slang reference or shortcuts. The word I am specifically referring to in this essay is the word advertisement which you constantly shorten to the term advert. Don't do that in formal academic writing it shows laziness on your part when it comes to using proper lexical sources.
ngokhoa99 11 / 56  
Dec 19, 2016   #3
I agree with Holt that you are well prepared to take the IELTS, but I would also like to point out some features that can be improved (I got 8.0 overall)

1. Hedging: In formal essays, being too absolute may not be good (you can see that I'm hedging unconsciously). Instead of strong words like "useless" and "downright damaging", try to find other, less intense synonyms and employ words such as "may", "could", "probably", etc.

2. The opening paragraph: When people read it they should have a rough idea of what you're going to say. I see that you consider both the "helpful" and "false" side of advertisements, so you should state that in the thesis statement

While some argue that advertisements are valuable, I believe that they are useless and only create demand for products
While some argue that advertisements are valuable, I believe that their uselessness and purpose outweigh their merits

By saying it like this, for example, you acknowledge their merits, so you can address them in the second paragraph.


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