ad-bombing of consumers
Have you ever formed a picture of life in ancient time without advertisement. It sounds odd and incredible. Looking around the world that we live in, it is surrounded by advertisement from all kinds of products to online application services giving rise to different types of advertisement, for instance , cold call, pop-ups and direct Mails. Even though we enjoy gaining extreme immense information from the adverts, the other side is quite opposite. It leads to many social problems, to illustrate, the invasion of privacy, for the costumer data was released to target products. As a result, many people are intrusive by a large number of cold calls, as it was did in the case of one of my relatives who received a great many of telesales about decoration and furniture as soon as she had just bought a new flat.
Apart from it, many people are suspicious of the quality of product which effects are real or not. As long as consumers have used for a long time, they will distinguish it. What is more, in china there are innocent consumers who had a cancer then they found the therapy from internet advertisement later they died from the wrong treatment. It has came about a huge stream about the medical ads. It seems that the advantage from ads are not equal to the disadvantage of it. So if you imagine there is no advertisement in the world, what the world will become?
Maybe a great majority of residents lead a more simple life in the homeland where they buy and sell though the word of mouths without attractive and colorful flyers and TV commercials. The artificial wants will exempt from the elementary needs especially consumer-driven lifestyle. Hence, people may concentrate on creative activities more than buying a lot of unused products.
Do you imagine the problem?@lucy1990
Hello there. Welcome to the forum! I'll provide you with writing feedback on your essay.
First and foremost, you need to work on the overall flow of your content. You need to add more structure and organization. For instance, try to add more punctuation to your first paragraph to improve the pauses that you would have in between your thought patterns.
It would also be helpful if you can merge being creative with descriptions alongside simplicity. Don't overexplain your thoughts. Rather, try to add depth by incorporating more examples throughout your essay.
There's a lack of clarity as well in your second paragraph. I recommend revising this portion in accordance.
